A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a straight, single, social, male, 24-years of age. I've been single for a long time now (last 'relationship', if you can call it that, was back in high school, which wasn't really anything) and it's got me thinking and others frequently asking, why? My typical answer has been "I haven't found 'the one'". But truth be told, I don't generally "like" women. I'm no misogynist by any means, it's just that I find women to be rather annoying and irrational and spending time trying to sift through everyone to find that perfect someone who 'I don't find annoying or irrational' seems like a real unproductive waste - there is so much to do in this world that seems more important. Now, I know I'm generalizing, and of course, not every women is the same, but taken as a whole, I prefer the company of men - hanging out with members of the same sex is more enjoyable to me it seems (and I bet a lot of other guys can attest). We laugh, we joke around, no one ever takes anything too personal, we all have similar interests, we don't complain to one another over frivolous things, we don't make little things into big things etc. With women, I just see headaches (not just personally, but from others, other guys with either their girlfriends/wives and how they interact with one another - heck, check some of the stories here on Dear Cupid). But the thing is, I'm not gay, I'm not attracted men, I'm attracted to women. Physically-speaking, women are gorgeous compared to men. But with that being said, I can't stand most of them. Kind of like the saying, "Women, can't live em' and can't live without em'".Not exactly sure what I'm getting at, but I thought I'd reach out to the online community to see if anyone else is like me, shares similar feelings, and/or to just get others thoughts and opinions. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 And furthermore both genders have their generalizations. For example women are emotional, talkative, whiny creatures who love shopping and shoes. Men are manly, aggressive, they build things and don't talk about emotions or cry or care about feelings and love. Are all men really like that? I've met men that cry more than I do. I've met women that are cold as ice and don't talk or share emotions at all. So no one can be lumped completely in a category.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (27 August 2012):
I think sometimes we can generalize things. And that's what you have done here. You took stories from friends plus maybe some life experiences and generalized women as a certain type of person rather than see each one as different. I do the same thing and I'm not sure why. Thinking of people as a whole I don't like them but can like individuals. I will frequently find myself saying "god I hate people" for example when someone does something mean or stupid. Whether that is normal, right or wrong who knows?? When not thinking of people as a whole you can see them as individuals and quite different. I'm sure you can agree you have spoken with a man who you didn't love to be around. Not every man is fun. Just like not every woman is horrible or vapid.
You tell people you haven't found "the one" so they will shut up about it, but it's actually the truth. Maybe you should look at where you are meeting these women and the type you are talking to. If everyone of them you meet is at a bar for instance, maybe it isnt the quality woman you should be looking at. You can find someone who is compatible to you and makes you very happy. But you need to try. And as chi girl said it does dating some losers.... We all have. Or you can be a bachelor that enjoys women for their attractiveness and never have a meaningful relationship, seems lonely but I'm a woman so what do I know ; )
But neither men nor women are perfect. You are just more comfortable around men than you are women because you haven't talked to any good ones apparently. Both genders have issues and the ability to be whiny. And to quote you- just look at some of the men's posts on dearcupid. Far from perfect and if I took that as being all men then all men are insecure about their wife's/girlfriend's past. As one example of man problems we hear quite often. Hardly the case. But anyhow those are my thoughts on it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 August 2012):
 I'm not a misogynist, I just really don't like women. Hmm...
OP I was wondering if you could help me. I think Jewish people are fine, but I find their stinginess to be intolerable. Also gay men have their place, but do they really have to be running around all limp-wristed? And also Mexicans, they're just SO lazy. Should I continue?
Women don't just sit around with nothing to talk about except the newest mascara and which vampire is hottest. You think you're not a misogynist, but when men like you are in charge of anything it's the reason women have trouble making it in the workplace. You have already judged us all as worthless and petty before even getting a chance to know anyone as an individual.
Instead of getting everything you know about women from models in magazines, how about trying to actually have a conversation with one who doesn't base her life on trying to get male attention? There are many men who do that too (but are OK because they're guys apparently?). I dated a guy who waxed his chest and eyebrows, went tanning, and worked out 2 hours a day. Would it be fair of me to say all men are shallow vapid narcissists because of a few guys? No, you'd probably call me a sexist. So when you say that all women are annoying and irritating, it's hard to see anything except sexism.
Judging an entire group of people based on a stereotype IS bigotry.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Well it is an advice website So why shouldn't I pitch in some guidance. One thing is certain women are different than men. I usually argue that the differences are part and parcel of what makes us attracted to each other. Not just the physical differences either. The trouble is most people have a lot of dificulty when they try to look at a situation from someone else's point of view. This is where the confusion, frustration, and headaches come in. We expect others to react in the way we would. Then they don't. Then we get annoyed. Why? because they are annoying? or because we expected a different person to be the same?
So What is the answer? You could just avoid things you don't understand, but you would be locking out 1/2 of the general population. A particularly attractive half. Probably people you want to be able to spend time with. Or, you could learn about them. Spend some time, make some mistakes, but mostly just get to know them well enough that you will be able to anticipate how they will react to a given situation.
I believe that you will never know another person as well as you know yourself, but you can get much closer than you are.
So assuming that you asked this question because after 5 years you are not sure this is the right approach to life, are you ready to go out and try something different? If you are, my advice would be to get in a group that is not focused on coupling, but more on a hobby or occupation. Talk to both the men and the women. Make casual friends. Soon women won't be so annoying. Then you can start to develop more emotional connections.
Good Luck
FA
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A
female
reader, Aemita  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Yeah, i totally know what you feel!
Apparently i am in the same boat, only reversed role. I got absolutely nothing against men, i'm not lesbian either (in fact i pretty much love and get turned on by men bodies and their masculinity).. but somehow i don't 'like' them. I'm very much attracted to guys that pass me by, or well... any kind of guy that fits my type.. but i just don't feel the need to jump into something with them.
And while i know, no two men are alike, generally speaking i got fed-up with the male gender. They are either too possessive, cry-babies, too arrogant, too needy, too insecure, too kinky, too many fetishes, too confident, too jealous, too whatever.. they can be a pain most times. OF COURSE... same goes for women actually.
But, hey maybe i haven't met the one-a-kind special guy YET. One can hope i suppose. At the moment though, i don't see it.
Anyway... point being.. yeah.. you are definitely NOT the only one who sees the world like this. It's not just black and white.. it's grey!!!!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 August 2012):
 A lot of women have come and gone in my life. Yes, they are hard to deal with most of the time. I was lucky once and a marriage lasted almost 20 years. She was my best friend. Hard to find. I think you just need to keep looking and hopefully find that one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Its not unheard of for a man to have one relationship that fails and then spend the rest of his life single, these men are called Bachelors.
It doesn't mean a man is gay or anything like that, it just means the thought of a relationship doesn't appeal to him, that's his choice.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 " spending time trying to sift through everyone to find that perfect someone who 'I don't find annoying or irrational' seems like a real unproductive waste - there is so much to do in this world that seems more important."
Thats why you're single. You aren't taking the time to weed out the undesirables in order to find the true gems. Everyone needs to do this, not just you. But waiting for the perfect woman.. or perfect man, is unrealistic. They never just waltz into your life. Instead what often happens is that they grow on you with time. You learn to adapt, you learn to get along, and you learn how to be in a relationship. All of that takes time.
"With women, I just see headaches (not just personally, but from others"
Get your own experiences before you shoot something down. That goes for everything in life. You can't sit on the sideline and be opinionated. You need to get into the game and form your OWN opinion based on your OWN experiences. If you haven't, then pardon me, but everything you think is just BS. If you personally do not have the experience to back up a statement, then that statement is not valid. I wouldn't trust such a statement, and neither should you. Just because you HEARD somewhere that someone experienced this or that, doesn't mean that is the truth.
So to sum it up, you're telling me the reason you dislike women is because you HEARD something negative about them? Maybe it is time you got a look at the real situation through your own experiences, before you shoot it down.
There are just as many annoying and dramatic men out there are there are women. But you need to take the time to sift through the frogs before you find your princess....
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