A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Really stuck....My cousin is really pretty. Since we were young we had a sexual attraction to one another. We understood each other and were sort of like siblings. We did that sort of I'll show you yours you show me mine. And we even kissed as young ones do. I remember my first erection being to her. She is my age and is fairly sexually active. She has been a lesbian in the past and is probably bi. But my whole life I have been sort of attractive to her. Now I thought it was just hormones and being horny and that it was just a normal teenage thing to have those sort of sexual fantasies. However now that I am quite a bit older I am going back to it. My own relationships are okay but I just don't feel anything with the girls I am with and I want more connection which I have with my cousin. True I might be a bit horny (teenager) but honestly I wouldn't mind a fantastic relationship with her. She and I talk about a lot of things and this issue has come up in the past when we talk about the things we did with each other when we were younger. Not sure what my parents would think but I think they might understand. All I know is that I am attracted to her and I could see her having the same feelings towards me. And maybe that deep connection I want will be more attainable at this age with her. Me and her have had flirty moments in the past and have talked about sex and I think it could work as not to be awkward but rather beautiful. I know how sick this must sound but honestly I have thought about it a lot and I think it could work out. Just not sure how to ask her or how to say anything. Please help with any advice with these sort of things (as weird and crazy as they sound) and thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): There is a book "Plasticity, Robustness, Development and Evolution" published last year by the renouned Patrick Bateson. In it and it he points out that one is most strongly attracted to falling in love with people one resembles most but who was not brought up in the same household. So your feelings are perfectly normal. Anybody who says otherwise is just not being honest.On top of that, according to a graph on page 65 your reproductive success (number or grandchildren) will be best with what they call third of fourth cousin or closer but first cousin once removed is still pretty good, much better than a stranger. You can buy the article form sciencemag.org of the prestigious American Association for the Advancement of Science. An Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 – 816It's not expensive. Read it and make up your own mind. Of course there are places like the US where marrying cousins is suject to prejudice. Then there are places like Sweden where marrying siblings is just fine. And there are place like Muslim countries where marrying first cousins is expected. Be sure to obey the law. But don't be scared of anything but the facts, and if you read that artilcle you will have them and almost nobody you hear from will.Let's review. Nature tell you to fall in love with near kin. Nature will reward that with plenty of children. Nature probably knows what she is doing. I pity anybody who fell in love with a cousin but was scared because of prejudice. He threw away what might have been the best relationship he could ever have had.I wish both of you all the best luck and happiness.
A
male
reader, Rowdy +, writes (27 June 2012):
Let's say you do it. Let's say it's even a great experience. But what happens if your parents don't approve? What happens if it ends up ruining your relationship with your cousin, in the same way a break up can end a friendship. There are a lot consequences here.But, I too have a very attractive cousin. I am a human being, and I can't really help it if I see a girl and think she's pretty. However, I've never felt any sexual urge with her.And lastly, yeah, this does sound pretty wrong. Don't act on it. It has a lot of risks with the relationships in the family, it will leave you ostracized from a large part of society, it is also inbred (not as insult, but as a scientific truth, it would be inbreeding if you had a child from the union), and lastly, I just think it is wrong...Sorry I couldn't cheer you up and encourage you, but I think it would be a mistake.
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