A
male
age
30-35,
*imfromyorkshire
writes:as the titles say attracted to a girl i knew 8 years ago who i recently added on facebook, how do i speak to her? i used to be in her form and she actually asked me out (7-8 years ago) but i declined now i find her extremly attractive looking at facebook pics, she is currently in uni out of my city but i dont know what to say? and if i should? she probably remembers me, might not like me or find it a bit random i am suddenly contacting her but i feel like i should even if it is just to be friends.my questions are should i conntact her?if i decide on contacting her (over facebook) what should i say?then if i do contact her then what? if i message her every day she wil think i am pestering her. cos its not like we spoke every day through school and were good friends.please help thanks :)
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male
reader, jimfromyorkshire +, writes (12 October 2011):
jimfromyorkshire is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust a update, i plucked up the courage to speak to her, i said 'hiya ____ how are ya? and my reply was 'fine.' oooopsy lol so sent her another message saying 'hows uni' and got ignored lol dunno what i did wrong :P
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I think my comments, as well as Clarawl comments still apply. Even if you smiled at her, gave her a glance, and said hi, you still haven't had conversations with her- or spent time together.
When you do speak to her, don't be outcome-oriented. Even though you mentioned that you would be content with just being friends, I'm sure a piece of you want to be with her. But just go with the flow and whatever happens...happens.
Best Wishes! :^)
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A
male
reader, jimfromyorkshire +, writes (10 October 2011):
jimfromyorkshire is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answersc but i dont think i made my slef clear the situation was that 7-8 years ago we wer friends as she asked me out i said no but we stayed friends i moved forms and that was it for 8 years no contact we used to give each other a smile or a quick hi when we saw one another in the halls at school and that was it that stopped very quickly and we never gave eac other a hi. we didnt fall out but we just stopped being friends if that makes sense. imade new friends and so did she we went seperate ways shes gone to uni im stuck with a crap job. but whats discouraging me from speaking to her is, would she be realy interested cos it would be a bit random to all of a sudden speak to her in 8 years. and if she would be botherd im speaking to her wouldnt she speak to me first? im mean i have a slight crush on her but that wouldnt be senisible cos she doesnt even live on the same city as shes moved for uni, also i wouldnt want to be a distraction to her. just being friends would be more that ok. with this new info hopefully written more clearly how can i speak to her? and what can i say?
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (10 October 2011):
o.k. let's see your age range is between 18-21, so 8 years ago (at minimum) you both were 10 years old when she asked you out. That's a bit young...but it's cute. Classic case of puppy love. :^)
Well here's my opinion....
Just send her a message saying how you would like to catch up on things. Ask for her number. And when you give her a call, find out if she's single or not. That would help determine what your next move should be. If she's not single, then it's nothing wrong (as long as she's ok with it) in talking as friends. If she is, then could compliment her by saying something like...you think she's very beautiful...and then follow it up by asking her out to lunch, dinner, or a movie.
If she declines your invitation for any reason (ex: you're no longer her type, she's not interested in dating right now, will be too busy with school/work for the next few days/week,etc) then tell her that the offer still stands. And if ever she's interested, you would love to spend some time together.
Whatever the outcome is, and as pretty as she may be, be sure to think beyond her looks. Really get to know her NOW as a person. People do change over time, so it's important for you to get an understanding of who she is now. Find out more about her...her likes and dislikes, what she does for fun, etc. Make up for all of that lost time.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I added a guy on facebook that I had knows 5 years previously and had lost contact with. We had liked each other before we had lost contact and I thought he may have forgotten me, or would think it strange to get contacted to randomly by me again. I sent him a message simply saying hi and how he was. We started messaging and then had a 14 hour conversation online, and have been talking ever since. He is now my boyfriend and we have been together for a year, and are very happy together. When I first contacted him I made sure that I didn't expect anything happen, in fact I prepared myself for the fact that he wouldn't be interested in me other than to chat and maybe catch up. As long as you contact this girl with the knowledge that it may not go exactly the way you wish it would, there is no reason you shouldn't contact her. Simply talk to her, she may have chnaged a lot in who she is, and she may want nothing more than friendship, as long as you can handle that I would say take a risk and try to get to know her again. I wish you all the luck, and hope that it works out the way you hope.
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