A
female
age
30-35,
*shley26
writes:Well, I'm kind of at a stand still right now, and I need someones opinion.I'm 20, now ex girlfriend is 31, she is married, and has 2 kids, and says she loves her husband more than anything, unless they are in a fight. Her and I dated for 2 years, and I lived with her and everything, we broke up in may because she all of sudden didnt love me. I moved back home with my parents, and since I have been gone, she has since realized she did love me, and misses me and tells me that all the time, and how she thinks of us spending time together again, and how she wanted me to fly down to see her, and so on. Also since I have been home, we have gotten back together 4 different times. Her husband did know about us, after all I did live with her, but if he knew we were back together, he would be mad, so she has not told him, although he does know we talk. I dont really get to talk to her on the phone much because she does have two kids that are in the first years of school, and are really obnoxious, and dont let her do much of anything. So we usually text ALOT. So the last few days she has not really been wanting to text, she will text me and say she is sorry but she is going to bed, she will just talk to me later. No I love you, no goodnight, nothing. Well last night she text me saying she was sorry but she was going to bed, she was upset, and didnt want to talk about it, and the last time she said those same exact words she ended up breaking up with me. So I asked her if she wanted to be with me, she text back with yes she did, she was just upset. I said alright, well I'm going to bed, and it was about an hour later I got a text from her saying "I want to break up and I dont want to talk about" by this time I was furious, she had just told me she wanted to be with me. Thats when I really found out why she has not been wanting to talk to me, she has been thinking about her ex girlfriend, whom lives pretty close to me. (thats how she met me was through her) and she told me she has loved this girl for ten years, and she cannot seem to let it go (her and her ex grew up together. She also told me she has been trying to break up with me for a few days, but didnt want to hurt me, then she told me she didnt love me like I loved her. She told me she was just upset, lost and confused and didnt know what to do. I replied with "Whenever you think about you ex I get the boot" Which is true. I said we could be friend, and she was sorry she hurt me, I said "so that means next week your not coming back to me then" -and I was being sarcastic, because i dont want her to come back to me, but at the same time I do because I love her...and she replied with "i dont know know next week isnt here yet'I have no idea what I'm supposed to think of that. I feel like I'm being used, but yet I still love this girl with my entire heart.The last time something like this happened, we were broke up for a week, and she came crying back to me telling me that she loved me and was sorry and didnt want to lose me again. I hate being lied to, and i hate being played.any ideas of what to do let me know.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, her ex, I love you, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ashley26 +, writes (7 October 2009):
Ashley26 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Alright Grimm....this is how it happened.
Her and I met through her ex, it was her husbands idea for her to date her ex, and it was his idea for her to date me, his exact words to her were "Shes cute, you should date her" long behold she claims she was in love with me anyways so thats why we dated.
it was his idea from the start, and if you reread my post...it says her husband knew about it from the start.
thanks Q1605...I am going to walk away, I have deleted her number out of my phone, and her screen names off all my messenger services,facebook, and myspace.
A
male
reader, vampiric_nikolas  +, writes (7 October 2009):
well if you listed the pros and cons of pursuing your relationship of a married women with children i have to say the odds are defnitley against you. reality check...move on with your life you don`t have to obssess over this unattainable person. find some one else. but bottum line its your life if you like feeling the way you feel as of now then by all means continue doing what your doing. were not trying to bash you just showing you what you fail to see since your so enamored good luck
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Lol...You want to come here and talk down to us because you dont like the advice...get in line. We see people like you here every day. we know exactly what we are talking about...why dont you settle down and look at your post there,because if you cant handle a little criticism from an internet site and an anonymous person, how are you gonna handle the pickle you are in?Oh now so you are coming back with It was HIS IDEA?lol you should have put that in your original post, then it would have been more believable.So no dont stick it out...MOVE ON.
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A
female
reader, Ashley26 +, writes (7 October 2009):
Ashley26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni didnt post this to get bashed, or for someone to sit there and call me selfish..when in fact they have no idea what they are talking about.
i did it for an opinion on what i should do..if i should walk away or stick it out.
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A
female
reader, Ashley26 +, writes (7 October 2009):
Ashley26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell first off....IT WAS HER HUSBANDS IDEA she got a girlfriend, so calm down on that one there sparky.
as for her kids being obnoxious..i meant it as whenever she is on the phone they scream and yell on purpose, but yet when she gets off the phone they are quiet and well behaved. i should know i did live with her for two years.
her kids are also to young to understand...and she plans on telling them when they are old enough to understand, and her kids even said "shes my mommys girlfriend".
i do not expect her to drop her family and be with me..
what i would like is for her to be honest with me...if she does love me, then say it...if she doesnt...then it needs to be said....her husband knew so therefore it was not alie...it was his idea..
I am not a selfish person because i lived with them for two years, and i raised those kids...i did everything for them while their mom slept until 3 or 4 in the afternoon..
now tell me again im selfish.
im not upset because she cant talk to me on the phone..
im upset because one minute she loves me..the next she doesnt....
so when you actually know what your talking about...let me know.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (7 October 2009):
I know what you mean, Q...I was drowning in irony on that one! LMAO
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (6 October 2009):
Wait a minute!
You were helping a married woman cheat,a woman who has children, and now you are upset.
SHE HAS CHILDREN...of course her children are going to come first!
I dont know why you would even hold a candle for a married woman. And on top of that her husband will eventually find out.
lol...people that foment cheating are just as bad as cheaters themselves. what did you expect?
And with kids involved..ones you refer to as "obnoxious"?
you are an extremely selfish young lady to expect her to drop her family and be with you. See, the problem is that she is just as selfish as you are, but she is coming around to the fact that maybe messing around on her husband is not a real good idea.
Let this be a lesson to you...yeah she probably is messing with this other GF of hers, but you know what? You need to think about the lies you have helped to create for this woman to tell her husband and children.
GROW UP AND GET A CLUE
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