A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've just had an argument with my ladyfriend over this guy in the office. Both she and I have worked at the same company for about 3 years . We started dating about a year ago - but kept the matter secret. I used to have an office right next to where she works in the open plan area. Occasionally I've seen her being overly friendly to one particular guy who works round the other side of the building. For example, I've seen her waving at him from a distance, calling after him down a corridor just to give him a smile and no conversation. I've seen her heavily engrossed in chats with her best female friend only to break off to give him huge grins. I've even seen her giving him lingering smiles from spiral stair-cases when he has been entering the building through the rotating doors. Basically I think she has been going out of her way to be friendly to this guy. Anyway, recently he had the audacity to ask her out! She turned him down of course (well - she's spoken for, right!). Am I right to be angry at her for being overly friendly to this guy, or should I just accept that she is a friendly person and that basically this other guy has just misinterpretted her 'friendliness'? Someone once said that you shouldn't sh*t where you eat. I'm beginning to understand what he meant! According to her she felt that she did not do anything wrong. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, toti  +, writes (5 January 2009):
oh wow. i feel you there. my boyfriend is very friendly and flirty too. that's the way he is. at first i was super jealous since every single girl he becomes friends with wanted to date him. some have even tried to kiss him. but he always turns them down. and i do believe him. he actually set them up with other guys so the girls will leave him alone lol and yes, he tells me everything so i know what's going on. i still get a bit jealous but i trust him. all because we talked. i can stop him from being himself, he can't stop me from feeling a bit jealous. you compromise.
oh, and also i try to meet the girls... just so they know who i am ;)
A
male
reader, Luaris +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Well apparently she showed enough attention to this other guy to get him to ask her out so I would say yes. She is in the wrong. Tell her if she doesnt think that that much "friendliness" is hurtful toward you and misleading to others that your relationship will not work out.
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (4 January 2009):
she may have not seem it as the way you have. your almost the outsider in this and are looking at it from a different view. those lingering flrty smiles to you may of been a simple good morning from her to him. dont read too much into things. your right to feel insecure as it may appear as something its not but you need to trust her. without that yu dont have a relationship. its difficult for a relationship where you work together etc she may act differently at work than she does with you at home its the way it is we are all different people in different places, dont judge her to soon i mean shes clearly knocked him back and now hes aware shes spoken for he might back off.
dont let it affect what you have, harmless smiles could end what you both have.
she could be treating all of his collegues in this way, it may be a naturall thing for her to be friendly and sometimes it doesnt read well for her as it may be misinturpreted. trust her and confide in her when you get these doubts. dont add up her movements and assume, her talking to her mate and laughing is nothing! i think you could be making a bigger issue than needed.
be honest with each other and youll get through it, trust is needed here and at the moment its lacking its something you need to rebuild on. best of luck xxx
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