A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I ended my relationship with my boyfriend six wks ago because we wanted different things! He doesnt want anymore kids, he has one son from a previous relationship! Doesnt believe in marriage! And wont ever move from his house which is half hr away! Even though hes quite happy to stay with me all wk where his job is! Then at wk ends he goes home to be with his son! Basically I did everything for this man, his tea,lunch for work, treated him to things, helped his pay his debts off as he was at mine all the time for free so he could afford to pay his bills back home! I even found a new job for him so he could earn more! Theres so much I did! But what hurts is after only 2 wks my friend came across him on a dating website saying hes looking for a decent girl do they exist?? Hang on a min I was a decent girl that he didnt want to make a life with! Ive had no contact with him since we spilt, but sometimes that makes me so angry cos I was so nice to him! Shall I just move on with my life, and stop thinking bout this?
View related questions:
debt, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Paying off a man's debt and finding new work for him is emasculating and it will ruin his attraction for you. If you are too nice, any man will lose interest because you are trying too hard to please as if you have no self value. You are a decent girl but he saw you had no real self worth and that is why he put himself back out there to date.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (2 October 2011):
 You should never put yourself in a position where you give too much. When you're doing everything for a man, they begin to see you as weak and they will take advantage of your generosity. If a man accepts financial help, or other extra help frequently, it should be a huge a red flag. You need someone who can stand on his own two feet, someone who is self-sufficient, and someone who is generous in return.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 October 2011):
 Soooo, he took advantage of you... you allowed it.... and now, you're beginning to recognize this "relationship" for what it is.... a cake-walk for him.... and you don't like that..... How easy is it for you to step away from it and start to make a REAL life for yourself?????Good luck.....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for your comments, the thing is when your with someone you dont see how they are mistreating you, you think they are a geniune person who i thought loved me!! ive always made sure from near the beginning i wanted another child as i already have a 7 yr old daughter, and he said he didnt think he did!! then it turned into a no really he wasnt interested, but he said we shouldnt think bout things like that cos weve havent been together that long, we were together a yr!! he said if we moved into it would be years down the road, and i would have to move there!! even though his job is here, i have my family here, my job, my daughters school and here dad!! all he had there was a house his son didnt even live in the same town!!! he just wanted to enjoy our time now!! but he would i suppose cos he was getting the easy life!!. i just hope he realises what he had, and lost!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 October 2011):
Sadly, no matter how nice you are to someone, it doesn't mean they'll be nice back.
What you found in this man, was a user and abuser. He clearly had his own agenda from the start, namely to get someone who was nice and just use them. That was you. You gave him everything he wanted, which in turn allowed him to do his own thing. Meanwhile, everything that mattered to simply didn't matter to him. He didn't want other kids, he doesn't believe in marriage and he just decided to use you.
You just met the wrong man. This has nothing to do with you at all. You were right to end it (thank God you did!). But now you need to move on. I think you're spending far too much time analysing what has happened and such, when all you need to know is that this guy was a total user and coward from the start.
Time to move on and leave this one well in the past.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): You have every right to be angry. The good thing about internet dating sites is that they have a tendency of revealing underhanded partners. They usually get found out,then swear it isnt them,blame you,call you paranoid or accuse you of abuse. They normally go on to do it again but change tactics believing they wont be identified. You would be better saving yourself years of torment and end it before you begin to doubt yourself and end up miserable.
...............................
|
