A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible to carry bitterness for someone and yet have a superficially working and acceptable relationship with them? I have known people who talk bad about someone on one hand and then when they come in contact with that person, they become all-so-nice to them as if they have the best of relationships. Personally i can't relate with someone at a positive level if i don't have good feelings for them, it makes me feel that i am cheating myself and just putting up an act to please the other person. Is it common for people to do that? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): it's not only common it's necessary for the proper functioning of the world and society. if people refused to work with people they didn't like, nothing would ever get done. But in order to work with someone you don't like, you have to be civil to them. This applies not just to workplaces but to family relationships too, e.g. the in-laws. Is this being insincere? No, it's being professional. It's childish and immature to have the attitude of "well I don't like you so I'm going to be rude and nasty to you whenever I see you even if you're not doing anything wrong at the moment"Personally, if I don't like someone I just try to avoid being around them. If I can't because I have to work with them, or they are family, then I try to be 'nice'. And I expect people to treat me the same way - with 'niceness' - even if they don't like me. I don't NEED to have everyone to like me. It doens't bother me if someone dislikes me. But it does bother me if they are rude and nasty and abusive to me.
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