A
female
age
41-50,
*my777
writes:I am an escort;started to have feeling for one of the clients....and he apparently feels the same; He wanted to start seeing me without the agency but I refused as did not want to risk the good relationship as I have with the agency especialyy that i this particular case they would know (it' s complicated) I just don't know if I should trust him ...he s been using escorts a lot; and I am sooo stupid!!!I started sleeping with him without condom, which was really silly and recently one of my friend who is working with me told me she saw him just couple of months ago.... and he tried with her without condom ..she refused...i am absolutely in pieces...he is coming soon and is about to meet my friends ect....I just don't know what to think??? would he play me just to sleep with him without condom?? seriously?? He seems to be genuine and even my friend says that he does..!!!He wants me to give it (whatever the it is???) a try? but I am just soo lost...people around him noticed that he may have feeling for me...so I just need some advice people anyone has experience????
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female
reader, amy777 +, writes (29 April 2011):
amy777 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for the advice...yes the last time I know off that he saw someone else was before anything really happened between us..and now he is travelling from the other side o the globe just to see me; he isa serious business man and I know for a fact that 2 people from 'his side'realised that he has feelings for me cause he just treats me differently....I never done anything like that before ...it is just ...would he do all this for the sake of not using condom??? I mean there are so many girls out there who do it anyway...especially for money...and this guy has not got problem with money for sure...he txt me like every day telling me how he misses me ect.,,,,I m just lost!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): OP the issue here is more whether you and you he had become a couple while he was seeing other women (paid or not). If he is still doing that now, then it means he's not as into this as you think. Whether paid for or not when you want to be with someone, you don't want to be with anyone else. You are because it's your job, what's his excuse if that is the case? If that is so then get rid of him.
If he hasn't been with anyone else and this last time you know about was before you and he got together then another issue arises. Did he try and get her to not use a condom the same way he did with you? In other words did he try the same trick on her. Again if this is the case then he's no good OP and you get rid of him.
Would he play you just to sleep without a condom? Hell yeah. He tried it with the other girl and no offense OP but he's a bit of an idiot for that request too. Going bareback with a sex worker? Again I'm really not trying to be insulting OP but that's a very bad idea, I mean it was also a bad idea for you to go bareback with a guy that does that. You may be clean but can you say the same for all the other escorts that have let him do this or even non escort women?
In my opinion OP you should have never mixed business and pleasure (you know what I mean). They're your clients and there's a reason why agencies frown on interpersonal relationships of the kind you just got into. It's not a good idea to get so attached to a client, it's a business transaction nothing more and if you have a regular and the guy is nice then you treat him like a nice regular, not as a friend or anything more. He pays you for a service and if you invest emotions into that business arrangement then you make mistakes like letting a guy like him go bareback, you make bad choices, you start letting people take advantage and it's bad for business.
OP if you can't keep that level of interpersonal interaction with your clients at an acceptable level, a level in which you are always in control then you may just not be cut out for this kind of work. Not only that OP, but it's already difficult to find a guy who is willing to date a woman who is an escort, the idea of having your girlfriend sleeping with lots of random guys doesn't sit well with a lot of guys. But if you also have a habit of attaching deep meaningful emotions to the clients you're sleeping with, so much so that you actually start a relationship with them, then that's a level too far and it kinda ruins your chances with all but the most heartless of users. You're trapping yourself into a cycle of only being able to date guys like him.
Back to the issue at hand, I just don't think you can do this with a guy like him OP. He's just a guy that makes bad and unhealthy choices, don't get me wrong I fully support the escort business, when it's done properly, safely and it's the woman/man's choice to do that job. But this guy is a guy who will take stupid risks to get off. Seriously OP bareback sex with lots of women whether they're escorts or not is absolutely dumb, not only that but he's already had a bad influence on you and you even went along and took a lot very big risks for this guy.
I'm mean look at all you've done already with this guy around, took a huge risk of catching an STD, something that could wreck your career, something which could ruin your health, with a huge risk of infecting people through your line of work, and not only that but you've now gone and risked the ire of your agency, which could get you fired and you also risk making your job a very lonely one by alienating the group of men that are open minded enough to date escorts in the first place.
I think you should date a guy that doesn't use escorts and I think you should reconsider your career because you just basically did all the things you're not supposed to be successful and safe in the business you're in. You've kind of crossed a line her OP, career wise. You can either try and salvage it by getting rid of this situation or you can try a new career.
As far as this guy goes if you are going to continue to see him, then you have to be very careful, you have to have very strict set of rules and boundaries, you have to set them early and you cannot falter. This situation requires great caution, a lot of it just doesn't seem right to you and with very good reason. Trust your gut and keep your guard up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): Um come on he wants to use u with out a condom, not because he has feelings for u but Nevis it turns him on, he's tried other girls to do it without and has been playing ur heart strings so u agree, he probably does it with other escorts, wath out or you'll end up pregnantor sti
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 April 2011):
The sign that he's playing you is the fact that he tried to get another girl to do it without condoms beforehand. Also, let's face facts - the man uses escorts a lot, and probably does this with others too (you only know of one.)
I just don't think this guy is interested in you other than sex. I can think of many different ways to get your attention without saying "let's do it privately without condoms". I think he's out to use you I'm afraid.
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