| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: im nearly 18! and still a virgin and every1 thinks that i am not cause of the way i come over (but i havnt told them i am a virgin 2 be honest) anywayss i have been in the situation many times!! but some how it always doesnt happen! i always stop! im begining to think will i ever lose my virginity id realy like 2 before im 18! and b4 i head off 2 uni! (and b4 u all go wait 4 some1 special im really not botherd just want 2 get it over an done with as its painfull and that).
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): uh well i never thought it was that hard my first time, of course your going to be nervous, its somethin your not used to, if its that hard, find someone you care about but NOT a bf
and ask em , no strings attached and no feelins hurt
just dont get to liken it too much lol
A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 Hey hey! I lost my virginity, completely sober, at age 15. I'm proud of it because I made my decision on my own. We didn't rush. We talked about it for months and months before it happened. There were set backs to our hokey-pokey, but we waited none the less. Don't drink if you're going to have sex, because for one, you might forget protection, and two, it doesn't feel as good. Plus he'll probably fail in getting it up for a WHILE, until he's more sober. In the times my boyfriend and I DID have a chance, I told him to stop during foreplay; I wasn't ready. I cried after I told him to stop, but it was happy tears. :) It was tears for knowing that he loved me enough to stop with a smile and say 'sure thing, Baby, do you want anything do drink?' or 'are you alright? Did I hurt you?' and especially 'no problem. Do you wanna watch a movie?'...He wasn't rushing me, so there's no need to feel rushed anyway...
Please don't feel rushed to lose your virginity...To any virgin who is reading this, when the time comes and you meet the RIGHT person, the feeling for the time will present itself and it'll be better than being half-drunk and totally tense. Relax, and if you feel uncomfortable...Just tell your partner to stop, 'please', and explain your nerves. It's all natural. Good judgement is important. It can save you a LOT of heartache. :)
Enjoy life! -Carrie
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A
male
reader, Badger_Simon  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 Look I know you might disregard my opinon more than others seeing as im male, but believe me, what you're going through happens to both sexes, you really aren't alone in what you're thinking. I lost my virginity when I was 19, on an uncomfortable air bed, round my best friends flat, while completly drunk after a party, Its not something that brings back happy memories as such. I'm not saying wait for someone special, that could take way too long, but you shouldn't be determined to throw it all away, its not something you're going to be proud of.
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A
female
reader, lostlover +, writes (13 January 2007):
 liek the first girl said dont rush it!
theres lots of pressure i know
but its when you think you're ready
wait till you feel safe with a guy
drink until you're just typsy (you wana remeber it dontcha?)
itll loosen you up and calm your nerves
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Relax! Don't be in such a rush to lose your virginity.
When you find the right person, you will know and you'll feel you'll be able to tell him and open up to him about how you feel, I'm sure he'll be gentle and take things slowly. Then they'll be no stopping you!
Take care.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hey doll,
I was determined to lose my virginity by 17. But everytime I was going to do it, I stopped. Why? I didn't know, it just happened.
You know what that is? Your subconcious. Telling you that it's not the right time or the right guy. I know you don't want to hear "wait for someone special", but I have no other better advice to give to you.
I lost my virginity just before I was 20, and I didn't stop, my body didn't stop because it just felt right. And it turns out that my body was right. I was so glad I didn't end my desperate conquest to lose my virginity with some random dude. I'm glad I waited for my body and my heart to be in the same place.
All though this isn't the answer you asked for, there it is. Your body and heart will let you know. Don't force yourself to do something if your heart's not in it. Respect yourself, love.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (10 January 2007):
 I was in your position once. I wanted to lose my virginity but something always made me stop. Admittedly I never got into a situation where I could lose it, but, yes there was a time when I wanted to very badly.
Now i'm a virgin myself, at 20, and proud of it. So you could say i'm a little biased. I don't think I am but you can take what I say or not. That is your choice. I will try to keep an open mind.
But first of all, I must ask, why do you stop? You say that you want to get it over and done with and not be a virgin before you go to university. Yet, every time you get to that situation where you can lose your virginity, you don't seem to be able to go through with it. Now, i'm not mocking your inability to lose your virginity. I'm questioning whether, deep down, you really subconsciously want to lose it. By the way it sounds to me, peer pressure seems to have gotten a hold of you. You want to lose your virginity so that you can tell people and your friends that you no longer are a virgin. You don't want to tell them you're a virgin because you feel you might not fit into the "crowd" anymore. That losing your virginity, is a way into a better social circle so to speak. This is not true in any respect. Believe me I know. People hold a lot of respect for virgins at university. Especially if they are proud of it. Then again, in other circles, not being a virgin is cool.
You see, it's not a question of waiting for that special person, it's a question of giving something that you can only give once. Many people around the world have been in the same situation you are in and have decided to lose their virginity before they meet that special someone. Now I know you requested that we not talk about that, but its a fact of truth and leads me onto my next point.
Those people, the people that lost their virginity through mistakes or because they wanted to have had two outcomes. Either the fact they had sex before they met someone special doesn't bother them and they live their lives happily, or they regret not waiting. Their passion and determination to follow the crowd and follow their instincts dies and they wonder why they did it so long ago. The thing is, the results happen both ways. I don't know any statistics for this, but the point i'm trying to make to you is, Is it worth it?
Are you absolutely and entirely sure that you want to lose your virginity or are you doing it for the status symbol?
My final point is this. You can only give your virginity once. I will not dictate who you give it to. That is not my place, nor my responsibility. However, all I ask is that you search your feelings and be true to yourself about what you want. Be very very sure.
Just something to think about. ZIM
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