A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years with my girl. Things have been really rocky over the last few months and we've talked about knocking it on the head at least once but then worked it out somehow. I'm totaly confused, do I love her and the relationship is hard because of outside pressures or has it just stopped working for me. The other night I was out with my mates and pulled another girl, yes I was drunk but im not going to blame it on that. We kissed but nothing else happened I also don't know the girlSo now im obviously feeling terrible and can hardly be around my girlfriend. What I'm asking is should I tell her and risk lossing her trust or just know that it won't happen again and move on I've never in all my relationships cheated or kissed another girl while I'm with somebody so this is very out of charater. I always push that trust is the most important thing in a relationship then I go a this :$ Wouldn't I care if she told me she kissed a guy? I'd probably leave her as things are so rocky Look forward to some advice
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): Maybe this is the wake up call you needed. Things have been rocky for awhile you said, and this is probably your drunk self looking for a way to get out the frustration. That doesn't condone the behavior, I know you know this or you wouldn't be trying to justify it.
Right now, your relationship can go one of both ways, she could break up with you, or you two could decide to try to work it out. Now throw in that you've kissed someone. I don't think you'll feel good about moving forward with your girlfriend when you've done this without telling her. It's true you've decreased your chance of success, but the *only* way for this to get better is to tell her anyway.
If she's a good girl, she'll realize that the relationship is on the edge, and respect that you want to be honest and make it better.
A
female
reader, loveistheanswer  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 You need to 'fess up, if you want to keep this relationship honest. Whether or not the relationship survives, that's up to her. It's that simple... if you want to do the absolute right thing, this is what you must do.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Well if you want to be with her, and you dont want to lose her then dont tell her because you most likely will leave you. But only if you are sure of those two things and that ull never do it again.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 You leave her, because she can't trust you.
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A
female
reader, UNSURE31 +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like your trying to condone this behavior by saying I didnt know her and it was just a kiss and nothing else. From a womens point of view I would rather be told about this action other than be in the dark about it and find out about it later on. You may or may not lose your girlfriend. If you do learn from it and don't let it happen again. If it does work out I wouldnt put your relationship in jeopardy like that ever again. Good Luck!!
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