A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi,i think there is something wrong with me. Whenever I meet girls or when a girl is interested in me I always find, or maybe look for faults with them.its doing my head in because i wouldnt mind getting into a relationship, but wen ever i start seeing someone i find things wrong with them. its strange because sometimes i can like someone but then as soon as their interested in me i lose interest.a part of me thinks it could be because my ex was such a good looking girl i want someone that is as good looking as her. another part of me thinks it could be because that relationship was such a long one and serious and because i got hurt in the end, maybe a part of me is to scared to commit with anyone. but im not really sure if that is it.my group of friends are also very judgementitive when it comes to their mates girlfriends. this makes me a bit worried that if i start seeing a girl that isnt as pretty as my ex that they would be commenting bout it. i know thats a horrible way to think but i cant help it.has any one else had this problem where they just find faults with people to not get serious with them? and why would you like someone but then when their interested lose interest?
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male
reader, rocknroll  +, writes (26 May 2009):
Is it possible that others have been critical of you in the past, and this is just a defensive mechanism to protect yourself?
I'd also suggest getting a clean break from your friends. Start collegeif you haven't already, and try to explore new things and when you do, savior it. These will cleanse your attitude quickly.
A
female
reader, CaliGurl88 +, writes (26 May 2009):
I think that you are scared to fall in love, and you push away once you start feeling something for them. It happens to me too, but I am trying to learn to accept it. At least try to learn to accept it, and you might find happiness and not care what people think. As for your friends, you shouldn't care what they think. If they are true friend they will give your mate a chance before judgeing her. And if your trying to find someone who's hotter than your ex, you will never settle. It is hard to forget about your first love or ex's. I really don't think you should be friends with your friends if they are judgmental. They won't learn how to not judge until it happens to them. You have to stand up for what you like and who you like. If you have any other questions or comments, don't be afraid to message me or whatever. Much Love.
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A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (25 May 2009):
Theres nothing wrong with being abit fussy, its important to be with someone you really want to be with, not have to look over things that bother you all the time
but I think perhaps you are abit scared to commit at the moment, and you finding 'faults' with them is your way of putting yourself off them. How long has it been since you and your ex split? Maybe its too soon.
Forget what your mates think. Men are always looking for approval from their friends and its abit immature really. Even if you found the 'perfect' girl they'd still find something wrong with her as theyd probably be jealous! Its you whos got to be in the relationship not them.
When you find the right girl youll find it hard to put yourself off them. There will be some kind of unexplainable magnetism... So just have fun looking but dont mess anyone around, and remember what qualities are important to you :)
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