A
female
age
36-40,
*implyComplicated
writes:Hi, I have a relationship proble. Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. Our relationship has been quite stagnant for a while. About year ago, he told me he wanted to have a break because he didn't even really expect us to be together for this long. I wanted to give him a break but here's the thing, I was moving to his city to live with him and start my new job at the same time. He told me about wanting the break as soon as I got offered the new job and had planned to move in with him. Fast forward a year later, we're still together and living with one another (I can't afford to live on my own or with a roommate). Our relationship has become somewhat mundane and monotonous. When I was walking home this guy just came up to me and started talking to me and we seem to get along pretty good. He likes to debate about politics, shares many of the same interests as I do and is just as gorgeous as my boyfriend. I find myself thinking about this guy all the time. I eventually told this guy I have a boyfriend and while he was pissed about it he still keeps in touch and the fact that this man came into my life during a very vulnerable time has me thinking about my own relationship and if i want to continue it at times. Sometimes I think my boyfriend still wants to have that break but feels he cant because we live with eachother and knows there is no way I could to live on my own right now...not even with a roommate lol. I did say to myself that I would give our relationship atleast another year to change for the better. We've been going for over 3 years now and have yet to talk about marriage, children, 10 year goals, etc. But back to original problem, what should I do about this guy. I believe that he will eventually stop talking to me anyway because it looks like he has, but I cannot get him out of mind. No matter how much I want to get him out of my mind I can't. Hopefully if we stop talking to eachother he'll become a thought of the past, but I dunno.........ughhhhh
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I agree with caligurl. If your relationship is going nowhere and you guys aren't happy then end it now while you still can. Before you accidentally end up with a kid or one of you cheats. If you can't afford to live on your own move back home or find somewhere else to live. I can imagine how awkward it must be just living together, knowing he wants a break but he can't because you have nowhere to go... As the other guy, tell him about your situation, then once you figure out how to leave your bf, if the other guy is understanding and waits for you give him a chance. Either way get out of the relationship your in
A
female
reader, CaliGurl88 +, writes (26 May 2009):
That's a sticky situation and my friend just went through the same thing. Eventually she moved back in with her mom. What I would do if I was you, was tell the other guy that you are going through some stuff with your boyfriend. Maybe if you tell him that you might need him maybe he will understand. As for you and you boyfriend, its better to break up after 2 or 3 years later then 10 years later with children. I understand you can't afford to live on your own or with a room mate which is tough. Which may mean you will have to live with a relative, and find a way to your new job or find a new one. You need to be headstrong in this situation and think clearly and about your future. The best advice is to break up and go your seperate ways, and if it was meant to be y'all will find your way back to eachother. Yes it is gonna be hard but you have to be strong. Trust me, you have to do what's best for yourself and be happy before you try to make someone else happy.
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