| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Any tips on how to be more independant in a long distance relationship, and refrain from constantly seeking reassurance?I've been hurt before, where I loved someone more than I got loved back; now I'm constantly looking for things, words, and thought that make me feel secure. My boyfriend knows that when I ask, "do you miss me" etc, that I'm always looking for reassurance. Recently I asked him something and he said, "I'm not going to answer as I know what you want to hear, and I'm not going to say anything, coz you always want reassurance", and that to be honest that made me sad, offended, and angry. But it made me want to change and be more strong, in fact I want him to start missing me more.Any tips on trying to seek less reassurance, and be more comfortable, and confident, I just wish he'd say things that make me feel secure like he used to before, now he doesn't.any advice?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (27 February 2006):
 How many hobbies do you have and how many things do you do for yourself? I'll try to give you some advice, but it might not be that good because I am in the middle of giving myself a confidence boost. I'm the same as you and always seek reassurance, so no promises but here's my advice;For you to build up your self esteem and confidence it will take a while. It might not happen over night. Beacuse you are always seeking reasurrance you could start a hobbie or learning a new skill, making sure that its something that only you will have control over, that its purely your efforts that will get the job done or hobbie completed/ interesting..... A hobbie where it is you that is acheiving the results.For example you could join a gym and get a personal training programme. Make yourself deadlines, which you will meet, result confidence boost! You could enrol in driving lessons or learn a new language, whatever interests you. Do something that you have complete control other. When you have an interest and are acheiving you may find you anxiety will drop and your relationship will improve. If you think there are deeper reasons for your anxiety it could be a good idea to get counselling for yourself. I'm doing that and its helping. I'm learning to satisfy myself rather then seek approval, so good luck honey, keep us posted :-)
|
