A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years and recently she's told me she wants to have a three-day disco party in our house with music non-stop and all money donated to COVID-19 causes.She claims "it's all for a good cause".In fact, her kindness and humor and generosity was what attracted me to her; as well as her uber-femininity she had.I'm concerned about wanting a three-day disco party, but she insists she'll pay for security and food/drink etc.It's got us arguing and normally we argue over the silly stuff, not the big things like money etc. as we're generally similar in that way.She insists we need to do this and that it'll be a celebration of us as a couple too.Am I right to think this just a bit too much of a problem and sucky?It's not like she's trying to strongarm me into it right now but the whole thing is just weird; and no, not a sign of a brain tumor, she's run parties before in an old job working in entertainment in 2013, so she' knows what she's doing in that regard, before anyone asks.My girlfriend claims it's a good way to make extra money since her current job can't give her a pay rise and she can't meet clients (for her job, Zoom meetings are impossible given the nature of the business which includes handling sensitive materials and sometimes chemicals... she's a freelancer).Who's in the right or wrong here? I've nothing against a party, just the idea of it in our house.Need some advice on things.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2020): I think this is a joke question to wind us up. Hard to believe that anyone would be dumb enough to have a three day party in their own home OR to supposedly be helping with the virus by getting people together to catch it off each other!
Your neighbours will be up in arms if you did this too.
If this is true your girlfriend is using the raising money for charity angle to get sympathy sales - people who buy a ticket but have the sense not to turn up - to line her own pockets.
It is no surprise she cannot get a rise at work, she is dumb. As thick as shite. Only a total dumb person would think this is a sensible idea.
And you are so dumb you cannot see how dumb she is.
At least we have worked out that the two of you are well matched.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2020): I looked at your age and was like wow you guys are a little old for this kind of behavior.I think your girlfriend just wants to make money off this pandemic not raise money for it.With that being said who do you think will show up for this super spreader event?Where is the money coming from for all the food and drinks that will be thrown out because no one will come to the party because.....the pandemic.Tell her no way what are you thunking? If she must party tell her to have a zoom party online.Pandemic????Party??????Really?????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2020): So, does she intend to do it even if you disagree? If that is the case, what advice can we offer you, if you have no say about it?
This is where you have to grow a pair, my friend!
The remedy is to man-up and remind her of whatever covid-restrictions and guidelines that have been advised by your state government and the CDC. I mean the real CDC, not the politicized-version! It makes no sense and seems counterproductive to spread covid; while raising funds for the same cause. In fact, it seems stupid!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (11 November 2020):
 I don't think that I could manage a one day house party now days, let alone a three day house party.
Also throwing any kind of party is the present covid conditions is just absurd.
Why is she suggesting your place. Are you remote with parking for lots of cars, and space for people who are now staying the night because they are no longer fit to drive.
Tell her your not happy with this and leave it at that. Tell her there is a pandemic going on.
Maybe I'm just boring, boring in the way my three day long party experiences sadly were left to my late teens, nearly as long ago as that was for you.
I'm more partial to a mug of hot chocolate and a good book now days lol.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 November 2020):
 Frankly this sounds to me just like another of those bogus , invented questions we are being riddled with lately. Maybe someone got their work hours cut down and they need to pass their time somehow.
Either that, or you and your girlfriend are the most out of touch, clueless adult people now residing in USA.
There is a pandemic hitting hard , in case you haven't noticed. In many States and different locations and municipalities there are lockdowns, restrictions, curfews, limitations to social gatherings etc. and a 3 days house party would be out of question anyway . Well, USA is a big place, and surely out of 50 states there also will be areas and places where the official policy is " just do the f..k you want "; that does not mean, though, that anybody equipped even with half a brain would consider
this time the best one to gather in who-knows-how-many -people within some enclosed space for 3 days, to better diffuse a potentially deadly disease. That's why
I have a hard time believing this is a real story- that a normal person , in order to raise money for Covid 19, would put up such a dangerous and harebrained scheme, that , even if it should work ( I doubt it !, how many idiots are there who'd go NOW to a 3 days home bash ?! ) would worsen the pandemic problem, much more than helping to solve it.
So , again, IMO this is all BS. But , just in case I'm wrong, ( people ARE strange , after all ....) and you are actually dating someone so oblivious to come up with such a "brilliant " idea , my advice is : dump this blockhead immediately !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2020): HiIf she wants to help covid charities then she needs to screw her sensible head back on, and recognize that this type of idea is the complete opposite of helping with the pandemic, in fact, this idea could cause so much more damage, anyway I guess it would be an illegal rave of sorts with all the new rulings even after lockdown. We all feel like partying especially over Christmas, but hey! it's not the right time and would be very irresponsible and dangerous. Not to mention inconsiderate if you have neighbors to endure them to 3 days non stop music and hoards of unknown people trouping by their door. Taking the police away from other areas that may need policing.Sorry but completely foolish and bad idea and will not be a good cause, your girlfriend is Wrong with a capital W.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2020): Nothing to do with her being kind, generous and caring. It is a good way to make money is the real reason, I cannot get a rise is the real reason.
Only a fool has a big party in their own home. And why for three days? Who is going to clear up and pay for all the damage?
And in some countries it is illegal to invite people over or get together with people, could get a big fine, not sure she would still have a job after that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2020):
 Well, throwing parties right now is ridiculous. Regardless.
Throwing a party in your own house might not be the best idea either and a 3 day one? If she has done party promotions she knows you need a safe venue, with adequate parking, security, liquor license etc.
I think it's totally OK to say, sure you can throw a part but not in out home. Though I have to say... It's a little tone-deaf given the restrictions and "ye olde plague".
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