A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi there im in 17 and i always hear about sex nad espashily for the first time and how its painfull and some screemed on that day.in fact after that i became very afraid about it coz i didnt went through this yet and i have a boyfriend everytime i do with him i set down and think how it will be with him and im afraid and say that i cant tell him not now not if i do it with him for the first time and i dont know how to act or how i will let anyone touch me like this.i always hear people say dont worry but when they telling me what happened with them like shouting or crying and huge pain i really get afraid and think i will never do iti really need a help plllllllllz Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): My first time hurt, but I still have my hymen. I think it just depends on what type of hymen you have, as to how much it will hurt. Get more information on yourself, and use lots of lube. Also maybe try a tampon first when you are on your period?
A
female
reader, Emaz help  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Right
personally i wouldn't plan it because then you wont be worried too much but then again you sort of do need to plan it as you MUST use contraception.
I personally thought it did hurt a bit but not as much as i thought and i did bleed a little but everyone is different.
It's best to relax while he is entering and tell him to go slow.
It will be awkward at first but with time is will become better.
Just don't rush these things.
After i lost my V i thought 'is that it' i was quite shocked because i thought it would be very painful and there would be lots of blood!
I was wrong
=]
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Dear Poster
It is important that you do what makes you feel good; "feeling good" should last past the sex itself; you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting pregnant or catching some horrible disease;
IT IS IMPORTANT TO PLAN AHEAD about CONTRACEPTION and SAFE SEX.
When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner HAVE SEX WHEN YOU ARE BOTH COMFORTABLE and READY.
More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. (Don't rush).
Don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve.
WHERE you have sex is probably an IMPORTANT decision. Finding a place where you both can be PRIVATE for a couple of hours can be difficult but it's worth it.
(A bed is probably still the best).Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's bodies; TAKE YOUR TIME; That's what lovemaking is about.
DO TAKE CARE OF CONTRACEPTION AND USE CONDOMS.
You can't expect him to KNOW what makes you feel good. You'll have to TELL HIM or SHOW him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. GO SLOW; If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, but that's why you have to give yourselves lots of time.
WILL IT HURT?
You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your body without pain. HAVE HIM TAKE HIS TIME, USE A LUBRICANT, AND PRESS HIS FINGERS INTO YOU, OPENING YOU UP SLOWLY. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.
What position should we use?Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.
Try to forget about your anxiety;this is as much a learning experience as a loving experience.
Don't worry about making noises or orgasm; just relax and ENJOY yourself.
REMEMBER
Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times for the rest of your lives.
Hope this is of assistance to you;
Best wishes; Keep SMILING
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): First time sex usually does hurt. Mine did, but not so bad that I had to scream or cry out in pain! I too was scared that it would hurt as bad as you're probably thinking, because people kept saying that it would. Just don't listen to them. If you're comfortable enough with your boyfriend when you have sex the first time, it won't hurt as bad as you're expecting it to. And just ask him to take it easy, and use a lot of lubrication.
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