A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated the girl since my senior year in high school. She was a sophomore at the time. I went to college about 30 minutes away from our hometown so I came back most weekends to see her. After 2 years, she broke it off because she didn't want to do the long distance thing. I am transferring to a new school, and she is beginning college. The break up happened last May.Up until that time, we had talked about continuing our relationship through both of us going to college. We realized it would be difficult, but we were planning on giving it a try and seeing what happened. But come May, she sort of sprung the break-up on me. She said she would rather date someone who goes to her school. I was really upset. She wanted to stay together over the summer and then break up at the end of the summer. I rejected that idea because I thought the summer would help me heal. The summer is now over, and I am still crushed.Over the summer she tried to talk to me a few times, and I responded minimally. I never initiated contact with her. Now that she is at school, I find myself checking her facebook several times throughout the day to see what she is up to. When I see on there that she's having fun, it's so painful because I feel like she just cast me aside very quickly. I don't really know if she was sad about the break-up or not.So my problem is that I know that looking at her facebook makes me feel like crap, but I continue to do it. I'm afraid it is an addiction. I have a great deal of activities in place to distract myself (I have been all summer), but she still gets to me. I exercise daily, lift weights 3 times a week and run 5 days a week. I think all of that physical activity keeps me from being crippingly depressed, but I still feel really sad a lot of the time.Is there any advice people can offer? I am in a lot of pain and I think the thing that bothers me most is that I feel like I wasn't important to her. She cast me aside really quickly and I feel like she was never even sad about breaking up. Now she is in college having fun and I feel really left out.
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 Dont think because someone posts stuff on f/b that they are all hunky dorey. We all do it, split with someone, feel crap inside, but still post those silly bits about what a good night we had out on the piss in the status bit. But its usually telling ourselves we are doing ok. Its called self survival and not a bad thing really when moving on.
Time really is a great healer and believe it or not even though it doesn't fell like it, its early days for you.
C xxxx
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