A
female
age
30-35,
*ueenofthegreen27
writes:I'm seeing this guy,, I know him very well now, and I'm pretty sure it's a relationship, or about to be. He's mentioned to other's I'm his girl, his friends call me his girl or he is my man or that I am with him. They treat us like a couple. Well, there is one big problem with me and it's that I think I am somewhat boring and I am insecure about this. The good/ unboring things about me are: I can have interesting conversations in real life l, I am friendly, I am very quick-witted and can make people laugh/open up around me. I take an honest interest in other's lives. I'm up for anything. I like to take day trips and just explore. I like hiking and being outdoors. I love music and play guitar, and sometimes go dancing with friends. I am working on getting better at cooking. I am not afraid to learn something new. I can be a little wild, but know how to be responsible. Then, there is the part of me I think might be boring. I am a florist and I work 5-6 days a week (this will change soon when I go back to school next semester). I usually do the same thing most days, which involves me going to work, going to the gym, eating dinner, watching something or reading, and falling asleep, which means I don't have much to talk about. He's been texting me every night asking me how my day was and what I'm doing. None of it is interesting enough to talk about, in my opinion. Also, I barely have any friends. I do but I rarely see them. I am completely fine with it until I start dating, then I think. .crap, I don't know what to show this person. I don't really go out on weekends, usually because I'm working at 6 the next morning. Another thing is I am not the most athletic person and am not good at sports. We have many of the same interests except when he was my age he was on the college baseball team and still loves to play basketball and baseball/ ride his bike. Am I over-thinking it? How to handle the text every night thing? I would rather us not text about everything we did and leave some mystery and let some excitement build up. I feel like an awesome person, but i feel like it's a big competition now days with all these girls on instagram and stuff i see, having fun with their friends, being so creative, without even trying. I'm afraid I'll bore him to death. What can I do to be more interesting?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2015): wow so you might a women who wont talk loads ! might be a advantage! lol
No but seriously , you don't do boring things you do a lot more things then I do .
Also maybe take a thought that your chap likes you for you and the things you do .. And does not want some hyper active , over the top girl .
good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2015): I am 33 years old and this instagram thing wasn't around when I was your age. And even then, without all this social media available to brag about one's fascinating life, even then some people were perceived or gave the vibe or actually did lead what appeared to be more "interesting" lives than others. So this isn't a new thing. It's interesting you mention this because I have dated guys in the past who would do that to me. Call me and tell me about their fun filled day, which apparently was everyday, followed by all of the awesome plans they have for the weekend and then brief me on all of the awesome plans they had the previous weekend and so on and so on. And I often wonder how they have the time, the energy and the money to lead such exciting lives. And then they ask me about my day and my plans. And I have nothing to say to top their awesome life. Like you I am sitting there thinking, "uhh I worked. I came home. And I took a nap. And I have ZERO plans for the weekend. And besides catching up on netflix, last weekend I didn't do anything either." And I hate it. And when I have come across guys like these I have always wondered if they are serious. Or if they are just trying to appear super interesting to try to impress me. Because I have plenty of friends and I have had my share of boyfriends and I have lots of guy friends and besides this particular type of guy who leads a fascinating life 24/7, I have never met anybody else like that. None of my friends are like that. It's not to say that they are boring but we have no shame to admit that we do boring stuff. Or had a boring week or day. So I have always been skeptical of guys like these, to be honest. I think he is embellishing to impress you. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. Like everyone else has said, you sound pretty normal.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (5 February 2015):
Do you know what the most boring part of anyone's life is??? That part of your mind that tell you all the degrading things about yourself. Again, and again, and again. Get's very boring hearing the same crap every day.
So tell that part of your mind to shut it! Then go enjoy your life. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2015): I would just come right out and tell him that you're frightened you'll bore him to death...but that you are going back to school so that you have interesting and 'deep' issues to discuss, so if he can be bothered to hang around you promise to get more interesting.Most people appreciate honesty and a sense of humour FAR more than someone either trying to prove they are interesting or apologising for it in a way that suggests they have got a major self esteem problem.You sound like a healthy mix of stable and up for most things and also thinking of how to 'grow' as a person and for career reasons by going back to school.I'm thinking about seeing someone new and up until recently felt I'd freak out, about how many friends I (don't) have and whether this would be a problem - almost everyone in this city where I live, including the guy I'm interested in, seems mega connected and I sometimes feel like there must be something wrong with me that I don't have many close friends or connections (and people always assume the opposite because I can happily chat away to anyway at a party or whatever, but I just am not that close to many people and a bit of an introvert/don't like going out much) - but I've decided to just come out with it unashamedly at the right time. I say this because this would be my biggest insecurity - we all have one thing that is our weak point and yours is feeling that you may be boring - but my feeling is he really will appreciate if you are just honest and show that you have self acceptance, but also that you are flexible and this could change in future, if you want it to.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (5 February 2015):
 Your life seems very normal to me.. not boring at all. This is what most people's schedules are like.
Mine and my boyfriend's schedule is similar to your's. Work, come home, eat, chores, sleep. It's really boring.. But my boyfriend and I talk all day, every day, through the night even. We've been doing this over a year.
Texting can be fun, but try to do other things like talk on the phone, Facetime and watch a movie online together. Plan in person dates, etc. Try the questions game where you take turns asking each other questions.. It can be a question about his past, likes, dislikes, or 'what-if' questions.
He likes you for who you are and I'm sure he doesn't think you're boring! You shouldn't think that way either!
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 February 2015):
what you did today is mostly just small talk. What really makes somebody not boring is the in-depth conversations, joking around, and other traits that aren't directly related to what you did today.
in other words I doubt that you're boring. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides if he doesn't like you for who you really are then he is not the right guy for you. That's a good lesson to learn.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 February 2015):
 You don't sound boring at all. Here's a trick to getting a conversation started or "unstuck"... Ask him about himself. You know like what was your first job? Have you ever been to _______( you name the town)? What would you do if you wom the otto? Benign but conversation starters all the same. deep breath and don't be so paranoid. You'll be fine.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (4 February 2015):
Don't worry about boring him. He's with you for a reason and if he thought you were boring he wouldn't be with you. The text every night thing is just what he does to be close, it doesn't mean he expects you to have adventures to tell him about every day. You could of course tell him the truth, that you're afraid that by having these long text convo's you won't have much material left to talk about when you're together. See how he reacts.
And you know, just talk about random things, like stuff you saw on tv that amused you, or that odd order at work, or something like that. You don't always have to bring out the big guns, small little moments can be fun to share too. And if you're getting to that point where you don't know what else to say, just ask about his day. The key point is that you still enjoy these interactions. If you get to a point where it's just forced, tell him you'd rather tell him about your day/week when you see him.
Lastly, those people who look like the personification of those "youngsters have fun all the time" commercials are just presenting an image. Every single human being has their dull moments. Those who say they don't while using cliche carpe diem quotes on their twitter are lying. I mean, nothing against them; if they're happy that way good for them. Personally, I love dull moments. Gimme hanging out on the couch doing nothing after a long day of work over any of these so called unique activities where ppl take pictures of the sun with their hands around it in a heart shape. Seriously.
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