A
female
age
36-40,
*ittleMissLost
writes:Hi,I hope someone can give me some words of wisdom as I frankly am lost.I was together with my current ex for two years, things werent working out for the last two months of our relationship as I was snappy and irritable due to my stressful job. Three weeks ago he called it a day and told me to leave our apartment within 48hrs as he couldnt be bothered to fight for us anymore.I admit i did things wrong in the past by lack of patience, wanting to make a family (I've had a pregnancy that he didnt want so i had an abortion) etc.I have been trying to convince him that i have changed and that the horrible part of me that snaps and whines is gone which is the truth, in all of this he has agreed to meet up with me tomorrow, he's driving 900kms to come see me to see if we do indeed have a future together and in some sorts, to see if I've changed.I dont know what to do as i really want to go back with him but I'm afraid his motives are purely sexual and I'm scared that history wil repeat. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): I know that when we love someone, it can sometimes have a tendency to block our ability to see clearly or...sometimes, even if we can see clearly, we can't muster the strength to do what we know is right. We blame ourselves. We go back to our familiar ways because it seems to lessen the emotional pain for the time being. Ask yourself why you want to be with someone who doesn't want the same things in life that you do. I know it hurts, believe me, I know. However, a few things you’ve mentioned, make it appear that he does not care on the same level you do. If you want an answer about whether or not he is simply using you, that means you don't trust him and there is probably a reason for that. You can withhold sex and gague his reaction but you are worth so much more than having to try and figure this out and trying to figure that out. That can be very draining.
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (2 June 2007):
 What are your motives to go back with him?I am asking this, because it is not clear.Anyway, history will not repeat unless there are no changes."I admit i did things wrong in the past by lack of patience"Does he admit that he was wrong when he was with you as well?Seems that you initiate reunion - maybe it is still too early.
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