A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My birthday is today. I've been dating a man for 7 months. He knows when my birthday is and we've already celebrated his birthday in August. He has a VERY demanding job and is currently out of the country working. He emailed me last night and told me that he had just finished a 14+ hour day and that he would have ALOT to do today, my birthday, or he would have to extend his trip. I completely understand he is busy and stressed out. I am going to give him the chance to wish me a happy birthday and I would feel a little hurt if he didn't mention my birthday at all today but I understand his job takes priority. Should I remind him its my birthday or just leave it and try not to hold it against him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 December 2013):
 He's out of town on a very important busy project and he's trying to work nearly a double day today so he can finish up and get home to you.
forgive him this slight slip up.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 December 2013):
 If you are quite certain that he knew - some time recently - what was the date of your birthday..... then he is sending you a very clear message ("I don't much care if you have a birthday, and when it is....").... and YOU are making excuses for him.....
Good luck.... guys who behave like this don't, miraculously, become nice - and considerate - "boyfriends" later on.....
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 December 2013):
 A few years ago my son rang and asked if I had forgotten anything ..... I thought for a moment and said "no, I am pretty sure I remembered to pay the car registration" .... it was his birthday.
Is forgetting a birthday a crime? I hope not!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2013): I forgot the love of my life's birthday this year. I felt absolutely horrible for it!
He asked me on that evening if I hadn't forgotten anything and that's when I remembered. I felt awful but I was glad he reminded me because I genuinely had a lot going on. I had the opportunity to rescue things and treat him.
Mind you I had spent months looking for the perfect present and found it and wrapped it etc. So it's not like I didn't care, far from it.
It happens, remind him because you have nothing to win from keeping quiet and then resenting him.
Another question to ask is whether this is symptomatic of your relationship? Do you feel neglected in the relationship in general? If not, then don't worry. There's nothing you can say that will match how much he will beat himself up for forgetting.
Remind him, let him treat you, forgive him and next year, remind him the night before - literally before bed time. Make a joke about it to make sure it doesn't happen again.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 December 2013):
 You can't really win with this one...
If you don't remind him, you will look like a martyr
If you do, and he just says 'happy birthday', you are not going to feel like it's insincere and that he most likely would have forgotten anyway.
You maybe should have reminded him a week or so ago, so he had time 'not' to forget :-S
It's hurtful when a loved one forgets, but it happens!
Try and do something to celebrate, see a friend or go to the movies...that way, if he does forget, you can just tell him you had a good time anyway!!
Happy Birthday to you and don't let his forgetfulness ruin your day xxxx
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