A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not proud of myself for resigning to asking strangers for help but it should show you just how much I care lol. I'm 27. A few months ago a girlfriend of mine had a stag party. There, I met her friend who I've known for a while but never actually spoke to. We hit it off right away. For the first month or so he would seriously just come over to play board games (which no one believed :). I have a daughter so it is hard for me to go out on dates. Being in his presence was so much fun but he would never kiss me. We would get a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and lay on the living room floor and play board games and cards like kids haha. We did go out on a great date once and still-- no kiss. He's very calm and cool but doesn't communicate about his feelings well. He always seems to be on guard.Fast forward, he travels for work for several months at a time. When he was in another state, we began texting a lot. We talked one night about him not kissing me and he said it just didn't feel like the right time. Things got serious between us and for several weeks we had an ongoing conversation. We even made plans to go on a cruise together and discussed the possibility of being roommates. Anyways, he came back to visit, planning to spend the whole weekend with me and after a sort of awkward hour of conversation (which I sort of expected and was ok with given that our relationship had changed so much) and spending the night with me and having sex he woke up the next day and decided things were too awkward and he left. I was very open and honest and told him that I was hurt and didn't deserve that treatment. He apologized and just said that things didn't feel as comfortable as they had before and he panicked.Fast forward again. It's been a few months. We've hung out a few times since then. We've slept together a few more times but we also had a night where we just laid in bed and laughed and had a few beers and watched comedy central and made out. We hardly text at all anymore but he just left yesterday after spending the whole weekend here. He showed up at my house on Saturday after I was having some car trouble and was frustrated and he brought 2 bottls of Sprite because he knows it's my favorite. He knew I was bummed and said his goal was to spend the whole day making me laugh and he did. I'm afraid we're just friends. I always seem to get myself in this predicament. Sex means so much more to me than it does guys. I care a lot about him and I think he really does care about me. I don't know. There's so much more to say but I just need an encouraging word from people who have been there. Is it time to move on? I love myself too much to be assigned "booty call." Help! :(
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kissing, move on, roommate, stag , text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys for the advice. I don't want to do anything hurtful to him like playing any games. I've tried disappearing for a while and he does get in touch with me eventually but I feel like he reads that as me not wanting anything more or me being cool with being friends that have sex. He does care about me as a friend and takes a genuine interest in my life. I think I know the real answer in my heart though, otherwise I wouldn't be here :) I want more than he wants. Now the trick is accepting it and moving on. We have such a great chemistry and he is not like anyone I've met before. Sometimes I think I need a life coach because I'm the queen of making bad decisions when it comes to love.
A
female
reader, _crystalxo  +, writes (29 August 2012):
sleeping together is never a "just friends" status. if you feel in your heart there is a chance for it to go further than take that chance but i think if you feel like a booty call then its time to end this. you either discuss a status for the two of you or keep it as JUST FRIENDS (without the sex) Good luck !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): I wouldn't do it anymore If he text you I would pretend to delete his number and say "who is this" or of he text you saying what are you doing burying much just haning with my bf & you play games all he want is to get the cookie or just be honest say hey what are looking for a relationship or someone to have fun with
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