A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I want to leave my husband! I can't live like this any more and I told him today. He didn't really care that I was leaving but said I'm not taking the kids they're both 6. I'm afaid if I leave and take the kids and let him see them he won't give them back to me. What should I do ? thanks anne Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 October 2008):
 I can't believe the reply from the other aunt who says it's him that should be leaving. How on earth does anyone know that? You clearly stated that you wanted to leave. If you are choosing to end a relationship then let the chips fall where they may. But, for someone to tell you that you get to make all the rules and too bad for your husband, well that's just wrong. That is the reason so many fathers feel cheated. Attitudes like the other reply make a mockery of being a father. The fact the courts give the children to mothers, more often than not, means little. The advice you received was way too one sided and perhaps from someone who s jaded.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 October 2008):
 In the Uk responsibility is more often than not awarded to the mum. Unless unfit can be proved. Thats just the way it is. But really its him that should be leaving. The children should be staying in their home and the parent bringing them up full time stays with them. He's not going to want to share a house with someone that doesn't love him for long.
Its not your fault you want to end the relationship. Who is anyone to judge that. Fact is you do, and thats your right. Unfortunate as it is for him. Once he has left the home, let him come see the children at yours. If he kicks up a fuss and takes you to some kind of mediation, then he will have to toe the line and bring them back if he starts taking them out. Officials will be involved.
C xxxxxx
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (30 October 2008):
Well if you want to leave that is your prerogative. Perhaps you should see a lawyer. Why do you feel entitled to take the kids? I don't understand that. What does "take" mean? They are his kids too so it would be totally understandable if he wanted them. It's not really up to you to decide. It's best for both sides of the story to be understood before the kids go anywhere.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): ...That's what the courts are for.
Trying to do this thing on your own may end up messier than necessary. The last thing you'd want him to say in family court is that you tried to kidnap the children...Unfortunately, even if you don't like him, he still has rights in this situation...
I'd take the time and call a professional to discuss the rights you have in this situation then take it from there...The internet can also be a useful tool in researching what you can and can't do so that, when things are said and done, you end up on top.
I wish you all the best.
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