A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im twenty and im about to start my first real relationship with this guy that i've dated for almost a year now. but i don't wanna get all worried about sex now, in order words, i don't wanna have sex now, I just wanna have a boyfriend with whom i can go to the movies, go eat, to whom I can talk to , without being sexually involved. How do I let him know? up front before getin in the relationship or later if he brings up the subject? i dont' wanna scare him away too, he's a really nice person. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (22 April 2008):
 You should 100% tell him before you start things. When entering into a relationship both parties must be clear about what they need and what they can give. Your decision about physical intimacy is atypical for your age group and thus you should tell him about that at the start of things.
Communication is key for a successful relationship and so you should be open about your need. With the knowledge that things might not go the way you want . . and that's the way the cards fall sometimes. Just realize that a relationship won't last if both parties desires are not being met.
A
female
reader, M! +, writes (22 April 2008):
 tell him if he brings it up.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Hi,
I'm just curious, why ? Why do you want a boyfriend without any physical intimacy? That's not a boyfriend that is simply just a friend.
Or are you talking about sex only? Still you will need to tell him this, as it is natural to want to be intimate when you fall for someone. It will only put pressure on your relationship if you fail or refuse to talk about it with him.
Good luck.
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