A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i really need help !The other day i pretty much lost my mind,im not all innocent and everything but iam engaged but ive been seeing this other guy sort of as a friend but it turned into way much more.when he told me he was in love with me i felt it to and it was like i didnt feel anything for my fiance which makes me feel bad because i dont want to hurt him but if he knew what i was doing now it would kill him,ok back to it we kissed and then we made out the next thing i knew we were having sex and it was the best feeling in the worldi now thinking about him non stop like my fiance isnt in the picture im breaking it to my fiance tom. as we are in a long distance relationship that is when i am going to see him,but heres the other thing this guy is moving to fast like talking about wanting to marry me ive only knew him almost a month but then theres this i was trying for a baby with my fiance and the day i had unprotected sex with this guy was one of my most days to get pregnanti didnt remember intill after and he said he would be so happy to have a baby with me then again i hope he doesnt have a std or anything and i plan on getting checked out soon but if i am pregnant i want to keep it but the thing is ive meet hes mother and family and it just feels so right they welcome me into there family and everything as my fiances family hates me and doesnt even give me the chance i might regret this but i am leaving my fiance and taking a chance on true love but what i need help with is this im 22 and hes 40 years old is that age gap to big and im not a cheater intill now ive never looked twice at another guy just something feels so right with this guy could he be the one or does the one not real ?i believe in true love but it was like ment to be at that kiss,i dont know i feel aweful for sleeping with him before my fiance and i are over and done but the animal in side me took over does this guilt go away ?could he really love me or was it for sex ivent seen him since but he texted to say hes coming to see me tom. night what does everyone think other than judgement i dont need it i know what i did is wrong and by the way this guy doesnt know im engaged either i am going to tell him he asked me what size ring i wear and what kind of enagement rings i like and what would my dad say if he asked for my hand in marriage does this mean hes going to pop the question???please help i could really use it bad
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engaged, fiance, long distance, std, text, trying for a baby, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is all I need to read:
when he told me he was in love with me i felt it to and it was like i didnt feel anything for my fiance which makes me feel bad because i dont want to hurt him but if he knew what i was doing now it would kill him,
you need to tell him he is not the one. Better to be up front then to sneak around and add salt to the wound. Good luck to the new guy, I wouldn't be surprised if you do the same thing to him.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (21 March 2008):
 I think you have basically answered your own question as such, you are no longer in love with your fiance and the fact that it is a distant relationship and his family don't get on with has not helped in how you feel about him.
OK so you had sex with another man who is older than you, I am taking it your fiance is a similar age to you. This older man has won you over and you felt good about yourself when you were with him. That is not a crime, OK perhaps you should have been upfront about your fiance with this man but what is done is done and there is no going back now.
I think the best thing you can do is what you have planned and that is to end things with your fiance as it just isn't right to carry on with something you no longer want.
You need to move forward in your life and at 22 you are still quite young to want children. Don't make any rash decisions right now as talk is cheap so don't believe everything that this new guy has said to you just yet OK. Tell him the truth about your fiance and the fact that you had fallen out of love with him and have now ended it, see how he reacts, if he truly has strong feelings for you then he will know you were confused at the time you slept together but he has made you feel good about yourself which you hadn't felt from your fiance for some time.
Get yourself checked out re pregnancy and any other problems.
Just slow everything right now and don't go head long into this without thinking about what you really want out of life as if you do get pregnant how sure are you that this new man will stick around. You need to be sure of a relationship before having a baby OK.
Just take your time and think things through OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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