A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am a 28 year old gay male i have been in a relationship with the same guy for 10 years we live together things are ok our sex life kinda faded out and is rare if ever i think we are both in it for convienience... i met the man of my dreams my soulmate we click on every level really love each other and want to be together the problem is..he is married to a woman and is very discreet and nobody knows and to make it worse he is from the middle east and has to stay married to her for at least 2 more years to get his conditional green card this is the sweetest person ive ever known and we truly love each other however my current boyfriend of 10 years is kinda..well depression anxiety bi polar type he gets a disability check and doesnt work he feels like he has no life and i am all he has but he is very mean and cruel to me says verbally abusive things and i am a very kind gentle person what should i do my mind wants to leave him in 2 years when my new boyfriend can get divorced and still live here we want to live together then but i feel sorry for my current boyfriend because his life will be torn apart if i leave him my heart hurts so bad me and the new boyfriend we cry when were apart we miss each other so bad but he is trapped in marriage and im trapped with this guy what should i do in 2 years leave the one im with or what im so .... torn my heart just cries out and i cant stop thinking about the other guy and he cant stop thinking about me please help me i dont have anyone close to me that i can trust with this problem also maybe you know some ways to deal or cope with missing someone when your apart..please help me
View related questions:
divorce, married man, sex life, soulmate, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your response twisted... your response makes me cry but its in a good way cause i feel you understand me very much i dont think he would go totally violent but i dont know i do have 2 years to work this out. me and this arabiic guy still see eachother on the side he dont want his wife and i dont want my bf its terriblei feel some peace in reading your message though thank you
A
female
reader, twisted +, writes (30 August 2008):
 I had an eerily similar situation, but I'm a straight female. I also was with someone for 10 years, the "I don't want to live" bi-polar/depression/self loathing type. Also very verbally and mentally abusive. I believe they go hand and hand due to the low self esteem levels. I also met a man was was engaged. We fell in love as well. I finally had the courage to end my relationship (not for this other man, but because he gave me the strength to leave). It got so bad, and he got so obsessive, he was breaking into my house when I wasn't home, calling me at home, at work and on my cell at LEAST 30 times a day. Finally it came to a head and he got physically violent. I had a restraining order against him and the police installed a panic button in my house. You have to be so careful with these types and not many people are going to be able to relate on this board unless they have gone through it and are familiar with the actions and reactions of someone like this. You are very lucky and have 2 years to get out of this. However, like me, you shouldn't have waited this long and it shouldn't have taken another man to come to these cross roads. Regardless of this other man, you are going to get out of this current relationship. I say that you "are" because you really don't have any other choice. If you don't, you're going down with him, and you and I both know, it only gets worse with time, never better. You do have a little support here. What you need to do is make a plan. Get aggressive with your boyfriend (trust me, I am 4'11", 115 pounds and my ex was 6'4" and 325 pounds and I was able to muster up the courage). Let him know you are tired of his crap and you can't take the responsibility for someone's emotions in life. He needs to grow up and be a man and stand on his own 2 feet. You unfortunately are going to be the one to throw him out to this cruel world. However, take heed in the fact that he will find someone to tell his sob story to about how awful you were to him and how depressed you made him and how you hurt him and catch another in his trap. His kind always does. They are leech's and will find someone else to grasp hold of soon enough. I'm not going to lie to you, it probably will be a bad breakup, but I swear to you, in the end it is soooooooooo worth it. The air around you seems lighter, the sun seems brighter, everything just looks better because you don't have a depressed person constantly brining you to his level.As for this other guy, he can give you the strength to leave you current. It is so much easier when there is someone there (obviously I know). That relationship will play out on it's own. Mine did, we now live together and recently welcomed a beautiful little boy in our lives this March. Happy endings are out there, but YOU need to be strong and go grab yours, it's not going to fall into your lap.Good Luck!
...............................
|
