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female
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*irgin-girl
writes: Hi I am a 20 year old virgin... I can get almost any guy but the problem is that I'm scared of the pain. My boyfriend and I try having sex a lot but it seems like he's killing me down there and it hurts... Should I take some medicine b4? I need some advice because I want him to be able to go in me without it hurting Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (1 May 2006):
 Can you insert tampons or a finger into your vagina? Then the chances are this will not hurt. It may be uncomfortable at first but very ofetn the hymen is not intact at you age anyhow, horseriding, biking etc can often lead to a partial/complete of the membrane over the years. Please make sure you partner will take things at your speed, don't rush and allow yourself time to become turned on before you attempt penetration.
Good luck and rememeber, nothing ventured nothing gained........and there is a whole lifetime of experience ahead for you to gain!!
xxx
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 May 2006):
 The pain is usually due to breaking the hymen which is a small bit of tissue in the vagina that is attached to each wall. Pain killers are a good idea, and remembering it shouldn't be painful after the first time. Basically I would recommend fooling around a bit but without full penetration until you are ready. If you are stressed by the thought of intercourse you might want to consider getting a vibrator to get in touch with your own body by yourself. You might want to break the hymen yourself (some women who are virgins tear it accidentally through sports, horse riding etc), or if it is very thick (which is a rare condition) you can get a gynaecologist to remove it for you. Ultimately everyone is worried about their first time, but if you have a patient thoughtful boyfriend then it shouldnt be too much of an ordeal.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2006): Dont worry, I waited untill I was 23 and it was a little painful, no point telling a lie but it got easier and more enjoyable after that. Ask him to spend a lot of time on foreplay to keep you naturally lubricated and ask him to go slow. Make sure that its what you really want,you dont need to do anything you're not ready for but if you are ready dont be afaid to talk to your boyfriend and let him know what will make it more comfy for you.have fun!
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (1 May 2006):
 fisrst of all are you sure you are ready to have sex because if you are afraid of the pain your bodsy is not ready. remebr that of your body and you are ready your body will natuarlly lubricate your vagina area making you ready for sex.
Do not be in a huirry to have sex as it is not a race.howver of you are still worried about it contact your GP or local sexual health clinic for help and they may be able to offer you counseilling.
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A
female
reader, lani +, writes (1 May 2006):
hi i was a virgin once +remember feeling like you when you +ur boyfriend get together dont think about having full sex as it seems to scare you have lots of 4play explore each other till the time when ur so comfy with ur man then ul be more relaxed making love is great when ur with the right partner never mind taking drugs cause when you finally do make love no drugs in the world can ever compare so my advice is relax explore each other it might take wks months or just days but it will be worth it in the end.
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female
reader, Salsa +, writes (1 May 2006):
 Ok!Dont panic firstly tell your local gp and he or she will give you medicine!!Dont be afraid to tell your boyfriend you cant have sex because it hurts,but tell him that you are going to take medacation and it will be ok soon!! xxx
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A
female
reader, Ana183 +, writes (1 May 2006):
 I agree totally with Country Woman. It is natural for it to hurt the first few times that you have sex. The more you have sex the easier it is. It also doesnt help with you being tense (which happens to us all). You're not on your own, as I have had friends coming to me with all the same question. As Country Woman said, try lubrication, that might help!Good luck!xANAx
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (1 May 2006):
 Dear reader, the primary reason why you are experiencing pain is because you are probably very tense, just as County Woman has said. I dont really think I need to add anything more because she has really given you a great response.Relax and try not to have this idea in your head, how will it be, am I any good etc, just focus on the two of you being together and I hope you are happy together. xXx
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (1 May 2006):
 I think lubrication could be the answer here as you are tense about the first time and sometimes it becomes dry in the vagina area. To say there is no pain at all would be a lie as it is much better after the first time as I think most women will tell you that there can be a little bleeding afterwards as well. I am not saying I have slept with loads of guys cos that is just not true.
There has only been 1 man in my life ever and now he is my ex but I did not lose my virginity until I was 20 as well as I had just not met a guy that I liked. I then stayed with him for 20 years and the sex was fantastic and I use to have multiple orgasms so it is great too.
If you have not tried it yet get yourselves some KY jelly and perhaps use some natural relaxant tablets such as Kalms or something or Bach Remedy spray on the tongue and you will be surprised at how relaxed you will feel, non of these are addictive as they are all herbal.
Perhaps taking ibuprofen may help but I never did and once the first time is out of the way the rest follows so naturally and yes it can still be painful but maintain lubrication and I would suggest plenty of foreplay to get you aroused and the rest comes so easily. If your boyfriend has had previous girlfriends then he will make it as enjoyable as possible.
What is the old saying no pain no gain? Try guiding him in initially so that you do not have someone jabbing at you so to speak.
I wish you the best of luck but biting the bullet is sometimes what it takes.
BFN
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A
female
reader, Floppy +, writes (1 May 2006):
 Hello love, having sex shouldnt be painful, it should be a very sensual experience. Try to relax and not get worked up when it comes down to having sex, if you're relaxed it will give you more of a chance to enjoy the 'foreplay' before hand which will make your boyfriend easier to go inside you. Make sure your boyfriend is not trying to be to hand with you, tell him to be gentle, after all it's your first time and there's plenty more times to go yet! Good luck!...
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