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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for over a month now, we both want to have sex, but im a virgin and i reli want a bit of advice on how to make it good for him. hes quite experienced. he said that he hates it wen a girl just lies there so i want to know some moves. what do you or your boyfriends find good??? please help, thnx x also should i shave / wax all of my pubes??? i dont know what most people do. im 17 and hes 18 Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): All you've been thinking about is how to please this guy. That is a really, really bad sign. You haven't thought about you and your happiness. Anytime you let a guy be more important than you, you should worry because your head is not in the right place. Guys who only care about themselves are dogs. Women that only care about a guy and what pleases him are stupid fools and will become slaves to love and are easy to abuse. Think about this sex thing again, I don't think your ready because your head is not in the right place. You have sex to give YOU pleasure, not to please some stupid guy.... A woman that worries more about a guy than herself, is really, really sad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont know i havent really been thinking about it like that, but i do know that hes serious and a really nice guy
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Just one question, do you think he's as worried about pleasing YOU as you are about pleasing him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice guys, it has helped a lot. i knew the guy before we started the relationship, so i do feel comfortable with this decision, but i just dont want to disapoint him! thnx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): When I lost my virginity it hurt alittle..so your not going to want to try anything fantastic right off the bat... maybe to make it more interesting for him at first you could try oral...however..if he eases it in and goes slow at first you can get used to the feeling and slowly you'll become more into it. Try holding onto him and moaning even though it isn't moving it lets him know it feels good and (atleast for my boyfriend) that's what helps them ejaculte...when they know that you like it..that is in a way why they like for you to move..Eventually after a couple of times you'll start squirming and he'll appreciate the wait...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): sounds like a walking STD dispenser to me
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): I don't know, this thing don't sound good. You've only been with him a month and already your talking sex. What happened to getting to know one another. After a month you want to shave your pubes and put the moves on him. Not very romantic for your first time. I also didn't like what he said about hating a woman lying there. Maybe he's a bad lover and he's no good at getting somebody excited. Make sure that he dosen't blame you if things are no good.
You present as aged 17 (underage) and currently living in the USA. Your boyfriend knows your a virgin, why should he expect you to know what to do. I don't want to frighten you, but the first time can be painfull and embarrasing and you may spend your time trying to fight the pain, rather than working out what moves to do. He needs to prepare you, make sure that your in a place where you feel safe and relaxed. He needs to carress and kiss you, untill you feel totally arroused. He should be the one learning here, he needs to learn how to please you, you don't have to do anything but lie back and enjoy. It's your first time, things will be difficult enough, without out you worrying that your not doing it right.
Make sure he wears a CONDOM, each and every time. He's had sex before, he might have a sexual disease and you don't want to get pregnant your first time. Anyway good luck to you, afterwards you may feel sore, maybe even tearfull. A good bath will take care of any soreness. If he's a good guy, the pleasure should be all yours. If he's useless, it will hurt, he will make you feel bad, and you will cry. Please make sure you know what your doing, or wait untill you do.
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reader, Bliz  +, writes (23 July 2008):
Communicating before, during, and after is key, especially since it will be your first time. Before: Make sure he listens to your concerns about this being your first time. His comment that he hates it when a girl just lies there could mean he doesn't know whether she is as into the sex as he is. I suggest you ask him directly what he means by that, as well as anything else. If he gets embarrassed, or is hesitant to talk about anything, I would wait a bit before going forward with sex. He (and you) should be comfortable talking about this."i reli want a bit of advice on how to make it good for him" Oddly enough, focusing on what would make it good for you, and sharing that with him, would definitely help make it good for him too.During: Mostly non-verbal communication will suffice here, although if you do feel you need to say something, go right ahead and say it. Remember, you have seen him naked at this point, so you don't need to be embarrassed about letting him know how you feel. If you like what you are feeling, moan, whisper, do whatever feels natural. If you are finding something uncomfortable, don't hesitate to say so. You also can stop at any time. After all, you may be new to this, but you know fully when what you are feeling and how you feel about it.After: If you feel there is anything to talk about, by all means, do so. You may want to wait and cuddle a bit, or sleep. Really, it is about what you feel you need to do.As for waxing, it hurts. Shaving can potentially hurt too (or cause razor burn). And, no matter what, the hair will insist on growing back. Honestly, I can think of about a million more interesting and less painful ways to pass the time. That said, it is up to you (remember, you really like having nerve endings in this area of your body, so be very careful!).Basically, decide what it is that you want to do to make yourself feel attractive, and go with that.Best of luck to you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): warning of advicemy first guy said the same thing "oh i hate it when a girl just lies there and does nothing"and he turned out to be a complete inconsiderate JERK. and i wish i had never been with him, then the next guy i was with was amazing, asked me how i was feeling, and asked me what felt good and didnt expect anything of me like some sort of porn moves or something.are u sure after a month u are comfortable enough to do this?im not one of those old farts here, im similar age to u, its just when i read that i couldnt believe that the exact same sentence was said to me and i posted a similar question on here to you.i regretted it because i wasnt 199% comfortable with him.if u even need to ask the question maybe its time to find a guy that cares about you more than what its like for HIM when getting off.take care hun xx
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reader, saltwater  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Well, he could have found a nicer way to say it, but yes, it is a bit demoralising when a man is trying his hardest and the woman just lies there!
In all seriousness though, he should be taking the lead here and teaching you...you cannot be expected to please him when you are a virgin!
He is experienced, you're not. He should be willing to please you...not the other way around.
I have to say that the fact he is "quite" (at 18) experienced and preaching to you what he doesn't like doesn't sound good to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): I'm not gonna tell you, as most people would that, if you aren't comfortable and not sure what to do you're not ready blah blah. What you need is good solid advice. First of all watch some soft porn. Then the moves you see the women doing soften them, make them less over the top and quieten down. Although do make some soft moans down his ear. Just fully allow him to embrace you, wrap yourself around him and let him know that you are having an amazing time. If possible, be on top, that way you can control how fast you go and it may hurt less. touch him, don't be afraid to run your hands (or nails) up and down his back and shoulders. Try different positions once your really comfortable and remember its your first time and sex is just another thing that takes practice. Plus your boyfriend probably isnt a sex god just yet anyway. Also i wouldn't advise shaving. Probably just get a brazilian or do it yourself at home with some wax or hair removal cream. Just neaten up. Good luck hun.
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