A
female
age
41-50,
*ae
writes:I've been with my husband for 15 years now and we have 3 kids together. Today some man my husband claims not to know came to his work today. Only 4 people work there but this man came straight to him, called him by name and asked my husband if his 18 year old daughter stayed with him last night. All this has me so confused because my husband says he don't know them, but then why did that man come to him about his daughter? I want to believe he's not cheating cause he just works all the time which is across from my house, but he has of lying when it comes to other girls. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lilacpilgrim  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 This is tricky, and there's so much we know, and so much we don't. Did your husband come home from work and remark "An odd thing happened at work today..." or were you witness to it?
If it's the first one, ask yourself "Why would he bother to tell me that happened if he IS seeing other women?" Surely he would hide occurrences like that?
If it's the second, even worse. It could be a case of mistaken identity (happens all the time, believe it or not) or he could indeed be cheating.
Whatever the case is, my advice would be to speak to your husband about the incident and gauge his reaction. Explain why it worries you, but don't be accusing. Also, recognise any manipulation of the conversation and prevent it from masking the truth. Being accusing and jumping to conclusions won't help, but trusting him 100% on this will always leave a sliver of doubt. Don't stalk him or smother him, but don't just leave it alone.
Some things you could do would be to note how he behaves around you, how he speaks to you. Is he jumpy? Does he avoid talking about certain things? You could also take note of how often he stays out late, and the state in which he comes back.
I hope this has helped in some way. I wish you the best of luck.
A
female
reader, nae +, writes (24 July 2008):
nae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. My husband was with me that night the girl was suppose to be with him, but what makes all this too weird is that the guy called him by a nickname that he was called as a kid and there are only 4 people that work there and he's the only one with this name. We don't go to clubs or anything and he's with me every night unless he claims to be making a trip to the store for something and he always wants to go alone. I wasn't with him when this happened but I was told about it. I guess I'll keep trying to do some PI work of my own and get to the bottom of this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): One thing I'd like to know, was your husband with you that night, or dose he often stay away or come in late?
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (23 July 2008):
 You have every right to be suspicious. Were you there when this guy asked your husband this question? If so, did your husband look a little suprised and scared, or confused? At this point it's a good idea to come right out and ask your husband for the truth because you deserve it. If you have been nothing but faithful and honest to him, you deserve the truth from him. You should know him well enough to be able to tell wether or not he is lying to you, and be sure and tell him that he, too, would be suspisious if a woman came to your work (or home) and asked you if you had slept with her son. Keep an open mind, and keep your cool when talking to him, make sure the kids are in bed, sleeping. Make eye contact with him, see if his eyes start to wander when you ask him and he replies. Oh, I hope the very best for you, and I know this must be hard to absorb, stay calm and telk to him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): Sorry to add to your doubt but i beleive that he is cheating. unless it is a set-up it sounds too suspicious!!why would the man know his name and where he worked and what he looked like!! i believe he is cheating and i think you should dig and dig and dig until you get the answer.your husband will deny an affair to portect himself and his relationship.the real question you should be asking is:should i forgive my husband and stay with him after he has had an affair, or should i leave him??? Chances are for mugs - once a cheater always a cheater - don't make yourself oblivious to stay with your husband.Alot of my friends pretend not to know that their partners are cheaters and i think it is sad and makes them feel worthless. you sound like a lovely woman and you deserve a lovely man.you can live without a cheater - you don't need anyone - you are strong and you will have everyones support. you are the victim and you shouldn't feel alone.hope this helps xxx
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