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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I am 18 and still a virgin but I feel really embarrassed when my friends talk about them losing their virginity, and I feel that no one will want to marry me one day or have chidren. What can I do about this? I want to lose it with someone I love, not just anyone.
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female
reader, Bekah +, writes (10 February 2006):
 I'm 18 and the amount of times me and my friends collectively say that we wish we had that part of our lives back is practically everyday. I felt the same as you did, believe me, because it wasn't too long ago when i was in your shoes. I made the mistake of running off with the first guy who looked at me, and how used and betrayed i felt, not only had i used him, but he had used me, and i had used myself to feel something that to be honest, wasn't 'rocking my world'. You hear these people who hump everything and anything with a pulse, what you have to remember is that you have something they will never have. NEVER give it to somebody you don't care for. I regret every day what i did, it wasn't romantic, it wasn't good, it didn't make me feel like i was worth anything more than a blow up doll and to be perfectly honest i was heartbroken that i threw it out of the window...there is NOTHING wrong at all with being a virgin. I find it a pleasure to meet someone at my age who still is, i congratulate you. In this society, this generation we don't understand (on a whole) what is important. We all want to grow up, we all want to be big and hard and have sex and feel good, because skinny models are and we want to be just like them. We all want to feel like we are worth something, but to be completely honest...your virginity should stay with you for as long as your willing to have it. And i'll let you into a little secret, talking to mates of mine (male), a woman who respects, looks after herself is a woman they would like to have a relationship with. You might say, 'yeh but slaggy girls all get shags all the time' yea maybe, but do you think in your heart of hearts that somebody actually likes them as a person, if that is all they portray. Stay stong...i wish i did! :D
A
male
reader, Dmansfield77 +, writes (10 February 2006):
 Dont feel bad. I thought I would never find a virgin girl when I was 20 and getting older would only make the chances worse. So I lost it on that idea. Now Im 28 and I regret ever losing it. Because now Im in love with my fiance and know she is the one for me. And its sad that I dont have that to give to her. She was a virgin when we first met and lost it to someone else and was her 1 and only time she ever had sex. I cant feel bad because Im not a virgin either but I sure wish I could change things. We are not having sex til marriage so at least that will be special on our wedding night being the first with each other.Also remember your first time will be painful and not that fun. So dont give it to a guy because you want to see what its like. That was what my fiance told herself when she lost it and she deeply regrets it now. And ignore your friends. If they want to be shallow doesnt mean you have to be. Do what your heart tells you. It is truely worth waiting til you are at least in love and pretty sure he is the one that deserves to have your first moment with. To do it out of romance and deep intimacy must be an awesome feeling.
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A
male
reader, ourchosenpaths +, writes (7 February 2006):
 Dont be embarassed. Usually girls try to single out virgins and make them feel like theyre doing something wrong because they actually still wish they were virgins. Men value a girls virginity, they don't hold it in a negative light. I'm sure that someday some great guy will want to marry and have children with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): Are you kidding me? STOP WORRYING!
I'm 26 and still a virgin. And honestly, not to compliment myself too much, but I've never had a problem finding guys. I'm in a grad school with almost 600 people in my class, and I've been told by loads of people that I'm one of the top 10-20 best looking girls. Being a virgin (and wanting to stay that way until the time was right; maybe until I got married) has cost me a relationship or two, but here I am. I've had three 1yr+ relationships; all but the last guy wanted to marry me, badly.
And for what it's worth, it's not as uncommon as you think it is to still be a virgin. I can think off-hand of at least three guys I know between 25 & 26 (all good-looking, really smart, successful, fun guys) who are still virgins, and I know several of my girlfriends are as well. And I live in Boston, which is not one of the most conservative places, so the stats can't be that biased.
Stop worrying about it. Nice guys will never pressure you, no matter how badly they want to sleep with you. And believe me, someone will want to marry you and have kids with you. Just hang in there; your time will come.
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A
female
reader, magpie4786 +, writes (7 February 2006):
Im 20 years old and is still a virgin too. sometimes i think of the same thing but the truth is the man for you will be ok with you being a virgin. you may not want a religious view on things but it is a gift to your husband what man would not want that. just because your friends are doing don't think that you have to do it too. but like i said your husband wont mind in fact he will be honored that you waited for him.
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (5 February 2006):
 Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on still being a virgin at 18.
This is very commendable 7 you should be so proud of yourself!
You have the right attitude... I only wish there were more
young women in the world like you!
You will meet the right person when the time comes, & WHAT A LUCKY GUY HE WILL BE!
I have a 23 year old daughter myself, who I am also so proud of... she saved herself for the right guy & is in a loving relatinship since the age of 21 & is now engaged to be married.
Her fiance actually came and thanked me for raising my daughter in such a fine manner with such high moral values & standards.Music to my ears, indeed!
I am sure you make your parents very proud as well.
Wishing you a bright & happy future!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2006): I think you shouldn't ever doubt that you'll find the "special one". 18 isn't at all old, you've loads of time! I'm 19 and in a similar position, but a few months ago I got drunk, and went pretty far with a guy I hardly knew. Believe me, I regret it more than I've ever regretted anything before. Losing your virginity is a hugely important thing in your life, and I think you really really should wait for the guy (who DOES exist) who will make you feel as if sex is beautiful, and not dirty. Good luck :-)
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