A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, (and girls). I just need an opinion or a few tips for this question.Alright. I really don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say it as quick as I can. I'm a nerd, I want to be in a relationship with a girl, and everyone in my school hates me (besides my friends). I've been trying to get a girlfriend for a while now, but I haven't gotten anywhere. It just seems that everyone else has a "significant other". And the more I think about it, the more it hurts...I just feel so alone. It doesn't help any that I'm a complete nerd either. I just want someone to love me. And no, I'm not a self-centered jerk when I say that.Any tips or advise would be great. I just need someone else's opinion.(btw, If this really doesn't make sense, I apologize. I'm really tired and writing this at midnight. =_=)Thanks for reading this anyway...-G
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female
reader, CrystalMaze  +, writes (7 February 2012):
If you have a "type" of girl who you have had crushes on, then one of my first bits of advice would be to open up your "type" barrier. This will allow you to be able to consider the likes of other girls, and you may end up liking someone who likes you back. You're the same age as me, and at our age, boyfriends and girlfriends are just the type of "walking round holding hands" kind of thing, but I do understand how much it hurts. Then you need to expand your friend barrier. Take up clubs and such which are mixed sex, not just girls else you'll look like a creep. Do NOT change yourself for anybody though. If you have a crush on a paticular girl, and she's SINGLE (don't go after a taken girl), then talk to her, go to clubs she goes to, and try to become her friend. Once you have succeeded in this, and you are ready to move on, it is important to break the touch barrier before you ask her out, so she feels comfortable around you. Don't be downhearted if she rejects you though, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and you have your whole life ahead of you.There is plenty of time for relationships and girl/boyfriends but now is the time for growing up, and enjoying life before you get burdened with the stresses of being an adult. I've had to accept it and you might be more at ease if you do too :)
A
male
reader, lforde04 +, writes (7 February 2012):
I can sympathise with your situation. If having deeply rooted interests in intellectually centered subjects counts as being 'nerdy' then I put my hand up. At 18 I had very little luck with women - so many of my friends and peer either had girlfriends or intimate experiences which they could talk about, sadly I had none. Before I write an essay I should point out that you're between 13-15 ... there are many years to go and many possibilities yet to come so chill out! Now upon leaving school, other than a few drunken kisses at parties and an awkward fumble somewhere along the line I had never actually had a girlfriend, and the summer holiday between finishing school and starting university I convinced myself that the sole aim of the next year should be to acquire myself a girlfriend. To this extent I changed certain aspects of my image, started to dress more fashionably and socialise more - all of this helped me feel at ease around the opposite sex. Fast forward to September and I packed my bags, left for university and set foot on the turf where I had decided that my status as a perpetual-singleton would come to an end. The first few months of university went as one would expect them - I won't lie when I say that I didn't really have much success 'pulling' girls over freshers week like some of my peers, but overall I enjoyed myself made new friends to the extent that the fixation I once had with finding myself a girlfriend slipped away. By mid-november I had spent some long and rather passionate nights with females and upon returning home in Early December for the Christmas Break I was still far away from finding a girlfriend but my perspective on the whole issue had changed completely:The way you meet, and eventually go out with people is by constantly expanding your social circles, experimenting with new social environments and settings. In fact, through October I met a girl who I started going out with regularly and although the relationship came to no avail it was an experience and no skin off either of our noses. I suppose what I am trying to tell you to do is get out there and meet new people as cliched as it sounds. You may not meet your future wife in the next year or even five years but but remaining socially active possibilities and opportunities will constantly present themselves, whether you take them or not is entirely subjective of course! I'm lucky in that I left my school and started what amounted to a new life in a new town amongst new people but you can definitely improve your immediate surrounds. Sit back and think what inhibits your social interaction with people and formulate an objective strategy as to how you can expand your social boundaries and meet new people both male and female. Ever expanding social horizons mean that you will meet someone, eventually, who you can start a relationship with! Good Luck, L :)
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (7 February 2012):
 You will find someone~ My ex boyfriend was slightly nerdy in the sense he was amazing at computer stuff, understanding it all (though it seemed as if they were his real love) and my current boyfriend is a comic book/gaming nerd and he is adorable and really sweet- theres no one else i'd rather be with. I love his little nerdy quotes :D
Maybe join clubs and activities to meet more people with things in common with you? Just be yourself and you will find a girl who likes you for who you are ^_^
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Perhaps you should try signing up for some kind of after school activity. Talking to girls without too many people around can be less daunting and being in a smaller group will give you the chance to show some people how charming you can really be, but with less pressure. :D
But just remember: girls aren't everything. I'm sure you'll be able to have a great school life without one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Hey! I love me some nerd boys! They're more fun, generally. Then again, I happen to be a nerd girl. When I was your age I had a 'fro I hated and people thought I was a lesbian. But things picked up for me by around sophomore year of high school. 18 now, currently interested in a NERD BOY at my college. So even if things don't seem to pan out for you right now, they'll get better eventually!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 February 2012):
 Hey -- what kind of nerd are you? There are different kinds.
There are brainiac nerd who are more into academics than appearances, and then there are the "unhygienic nerds" who don't shower, smell like BO, and are greasy and weird.
From your post, you sound like a brainiac. First of all, don't fret! You're what they call a "late bloomer". In which case, you're in good company of people like Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook), Bill Gates (founder of Microsoft), and Steve Jobs (late founder of Apple).
Many people your age are still at the awkward phase. You could just be a late bloomer, meaning your peak might hit in a few years.
First of all, if you're not showering every day, or you're wearing wrinkly clothes, or if you have bad habits (i.e. nose picking or biting fingernails and using them as toothpicks...ewww) or if you're not eating right, it's time to start!
You don't have to be one of the pretty boys to make sure you smell good, work on your cleanliness, and not looking like you rolled out of bed and don't care what you smell like. BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Watch eating crap like Funyuns, garlic, or things that make your breath REEK. This stuff is pretty academic.
As far as everyone hating you, well, you have friends, so not everyone hates you! You may be shy and a bit standoffish, but work on being warm and approachable. One thing brainiac nerds can fall into is talking only about themselves or things that interest them. If you want a girl, be interested in THEM! Be the guy that girls can confide their secrets to.
If you're getting picked on for being a nerd, maybe you want to take some self-defense classes or lift some weights. This will boost your self-confidence, which will make you attractive! Learn a skill that makes you stand out. (Not the Bow staff like in Napoleon Dynamite). Join clubs. Work on people skills and stand up for yourself.
Above all, be patient with yourself. You're at a really rough age. I'm really not trying to minimize what you're going through, but they don't call these things "growing pains" for nothing!
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