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I don't want to demand too much from her, but she hasn't mentioned meeting up again, what should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met a nice girl on the internet, we chatted for 2-3 weeks, then finally met up on Sunday afternoon. We walked for around 30 mins, then we went to a cafe,had some tea and chatted for 2hrs 30mins, then walked home for 30 mins.

I forgot to text her as soon as i got home as my friends came over, however she texted around 1 hour when we got home thanking me for a lovely evening. i texted back and we exchanged a few texts and jokes.

i did ask to meet again, she was busy though today and meeting friends, and said tuesday we could.

we texted a bit today too, but she never mentioned tuesday meeting up.....and she works long hours mostly too, so i don't want to demand too much from her.

what do i do now? i was thinking to not text until she does and asks if we can meet, i like her and her company and have made ideas already what we may do again, but i don't want to be too eager and clingy already!

should i have called her on sunday or monday just to say hi or were texts good enough?

any tips what i should say that could get her thinking of me and what we could do together?

View related questions: text, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Update, 2012 I pledged I wouldn't chase any ladies after a tumultuous episode I had chasing another lady I really liked, so I deliberately never texted said lady today, then around 6pm she texted me asking how my day was and if I wanted to do anything on Saturday as she works flat out until then and that today she was really busy!

So I think I'll see it as a very good sign that she wants to meet up,now I need to find something to do on Saturday, yikes, but I think she may be interested in me!

We chatted tonight too by text, I am thinking if I call, I may take some of the mystery out of things, and that it'd be too attached too soon!

Thanks folks for the advice!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIF it was me I would expect and WANT a phone call to ask me out again... NOT A TEXT!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012):

Hope you met up.... if it had been me I would have expected you to make firm plans for today either by text or a call.

Sounds like the interest is mutual - so good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012):

If it's today (it's Tuesday where I am) you're supposed to meet up and she hasn't mentioned it, you could ask if she's still on for it. I would find that quite normal.

I dont think you should worry about not calling, since you both were texting and sending jokes, so texting is probably acceptable to her until you get much closer. I think women are generally way more into texting than men.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012):

Your outting on Sunday afternoon sounds like it went very well, and you both acknowledged afterwards that you had a lovely time.

She previously mentioned Tuesday would be ok, so don't second guess her with her work hours and other commitments.

Be yourself, be confident and be clear. Continue to be consistent in showing your interest.

You don't have to wait for her to text, you are the guy and it's good to show leadership (in my opinion). You've both agreed previously on Tuesday, so be a "man" and call instead of texting, and ask her on the next outting which she agreed to. You can refer to your previous texts that she indicated Tuesday would be good, is that still the case and you've got some nice ideas - and share them with her. Then arrange to meet up, time, place, etc.

Don't worry about what you should have said or done - it's in the past. She liked you because she sent you a text an hour after, so you can take it from there.

Be consistent - say what you mean, and let your actions follow your words. So that there is no misunderstandings, miscommunications, and 1000 texts to arrange your next outting, even though it's scary and exciting, JUST DO IT :) CALL HER.

You sound like a great guy, you said she is a nice girl, you spent some lovely time together, so it's time to share some more special time together with activities you both enjoy.

A tip: if DATE sounds scary to you, use the word: OUTTING. My boyfriend used that word with me when he first asked me out, and it worked like a bomb ;-) It was less pressure, more of a "getting to know you" situation, which allows you to be YOURSELF.

Enjoy it, have fun and wishing you happiness :)

xxxx E

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012):

Hello.

Just text her and ask her wheres best to meet up today. Then she will know you havent forgot. Im old fashioned in the way that i think its the guys place at beginning of dating to do the asking x

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