| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am a guy alright. But i wonder why does it discomfort me when someone is looking at me or makes eye contact, i feel shy, when they look at me I think they were probably thinking about having sex with me. That sounds absurd but i am extremely conscious about this in a public setting that i am not forced to enter in to something by others. Sometimes girls have tried to force me to do it, but i was not very keen on it. It's as if, if i lose my virginity to someone i would lose everything. I have always had this thought of having it first with the girl i get married to. For me, it's linked with character of a person. Meaning the ones who lose it before marriage do not have a good character. That is a strong belief i have been holding since childhood. Have i been taking this thing too seriously? Please advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Hi Bro, I am 26 years old, and I did´t lose my virginity, Im waiting to the right person,ja, but i am tired to wait. the last two weeks i was thinking to do it in the next spring break, jajaja; the only afraid that i had is that the other person is infected or something like that. I dont want to wait to get married to do it, only a person who realy cares, i was my opportunity in my university with a friend of mine, she was virgin too, and she almost propoused me to do it. But I told her that i can do it if i dont real be in love her. Its funny, because, Iam the type sport guy and rude. But since I graduated my mind is almost crazy about that. And i am really desesperated. But Thanks God Im not alone in the world, and find another person with the same problem. So I will give me another chance to look for the real love. does realy exist?I know Im a cursi. Sorry my english but Im a latino.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): yah ur body is ur temple and so on. we all heard this before. but for some ppl its nothing. but not everyone has the same values, its just not going to happen. im getting married in a few months to the man i have been with for nearly 6 years. we are great for eachother, we have great paying jobs, great friends and family. we are not bad ppl. we enjoy being intimate with oneanother. and i think its different. a person really has to be mature enough to be intimate with another person. ur thoughts are so negative about others who are having sex, but u need know that not everyone has the desire to get married, some people dont have the money to get married. u and i never know whats going on in another persons life and i dont think that its fair for anyone to judge others based on what they think is right or wrong. if u want to wait until u get married than thats wonderful, its a decision that u will make on ur own. and really it would be great if more young ppl would substain from having sex until they are really ready
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 I don't think you're taking it too seriously. In fact, if more people realised, like you, how important and powerful sex is, the world would be a better place. Sadly, however, this is not the case for most people, as they see it as something you do with anyone anytime. I do think maybe you need to be a bit more accepting of others' choices. Not everyone who doesn't wait until their married is a bad person, they may be in a serious relationship and some people never get married: should they never have sex with the person they love?
You seem like a nice guy and shouldn't do anything you're not happy with. There are many girls out there who share your views and who will want to wait until their married and that's fine. Everyone is entitled to do their own thing and, as long as everyone is consenting, just because you find it wrong doesn't mean you're right. I think your view is a lot more healthy than many peoples but it's not as common as others.
You relax and realise you have the right to feel how you want. Don't be pressured into doing or feeling anything you don't want to and you wait for that special girl, coz she is out there.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 First of all, I want to say that those girls who tried to force you into a physical relationship were doing something horrible, and I'm sorry you had to make such an experience.
Second, when people look at you or make eye contact with you, they are probably not thinking about sex. They might be thinking along the lines of "he looks like a friendly person" or "what a cute face he has", but they're probably not thinking "sex now". At least with me, that kind of thing very rarely happens.
Third, if you want to hold on to your virginity until you're married, that's your personal choice and I think you should follow your heart in this matter. Do what feels right for you.
The idea of entering marriage pure and untouched is something you've carried with you since childhood. Other people may not be of the same moral code. For them it may not be that important to marry at all, or they may want to be confident in their sexuality before marrying. I think you might be wrong to think of them as weak just because they go about finding love in a different way.
If you have it in you; try to love the world and be a bit more tolerant. It will make your life easier and cause you less stress in the long run.
Wishing you best of luck,
/dragonette
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