A
male
 ,
*ecentguy1
writes:Hi all,I am 39, and have been broken up with my ex-fiancee for the past 3 years. We have both kept in contact during that time, even while dating others. She is living with someone and engaged. Yet, still, she will see me, spend time at lunch, occasionally get together etc..We had dated for 7 years, and it was the most amazing period. I was her first love and everything. I hurt her terribly by not letting her move in after she wanted to. Anyway, she gave me the ring back, and wouldn't give me one more chance. Yet she still wants me there. she told me she doesn't want to lose me, and yesterday, I told her I still want to be with her, yet she didn't say "yes". When I said, are you going to marry him, she said it wasn't in her mind, she wasn't thinking that..she wants things to stay the same....help!!! is she playing with me, or is she sincerely confused? she has only been with this guy 1 year. I have always been there, so she knows that I"m in the "background" so any help what should i do: I want her back
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female
reader, Farris  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 I think that she's seriously confused. You really need to sit her down and talk to her about this. Let her know what she's doing to you, and that it feels like she's stringing you along. Question her why she's engaged when she's not thinking about marrying her partner. You deserve some explanations after the way she's treating you.
At the end of the day, you should let her know that you want to be with her, but you are not going to play second fiddle. If she's changed her mind about leaving you, then she should leave her current partner to be with you... If she doesn't want to be with you, she should stop playing you along.
I know it's hard, but you should probably tell her that if she's just stringing you a long, then you don't want her in your life AT ALL. Give her the chance to rectify herself if she feels she's made a mistake, if not, and she doesn't change her ways; move on, & find someone new.
Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): i split with my husband for 4 months and met a guy who made me smile, we had a row and my ex husband stepped in thinking he was helping me.
i now want to keep the friendship with this guy as i do care, my exhusband wonders why. iam confused i think your friend is confused. i am not playing with this guy but it must look this way. if this guy meets a girl i would have to accept it, but would his new girlfriend allow us to be friends. if you meet a new girl, would your new girl be upset if you kept a friendship with your ex,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): if you want her back just make her jealous it sounds like she has moved on but you havent you need to find a girl and be all lovey dovey be a gentelman and go on double dates and share dinner and make her jealous and maybe talk to her about all the good times she might want to relive them and show her that you are comitted and ask the girl who you are making her jealous with to marry you and just have fun with her when you talk to her dont flirt then she will know that you are trying to make her jealous
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