A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a male, 18, and have no idea what to do about me. I am quite an anxious person, and want advice on what to do. I find it quite hard to interact with other people, often people my own age. I never eat with other people at college and rarely make contributions to discussion in class. I also find conversation very hard, mainly in groups which I am completely unable to join in on. The problem is that I hate being like this. I am a bit of a loner but really want more friends, and ultimately a relationship etc. It's so bad that I am not going to university this year just because I was too scared. I only get as far as fantasising about social situations, friends and having fun which I would want to be a part of like normal people. Being an in the closet gay does not help either. What do i do? Thanks.
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female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 My advice is to be confortable with yourself. there is nothing wrong with not feeling confortable around a bunch of people. You are an introverted person thats all, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You want to be the life of the party, but quite frankly that is not who you are. YOU ARE NORMAL, a normal introvert. welcome to the club :-)
I am also a loner and to be blunt people tend to GET ON MY NERVES!!
You should just get a small group of friends that you are confortable with and don't worry about the crowds. Over time you will be able to train yourself to do what is necessary to get by. It took me some time but over the years I went from having huge butterflies in my stomach and sweating with nervousness when I had to go to a conference meeting for my job. Now I am able to run the meeting and dictate what other people are going to do. I haven't changed my personality I just trained myself to 'just do it' almost on auto-pilot.
Please sign up for university next semester and 'just do it' you will never get through life being scared to live it. Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 this sounds like me when i was little , it is social phobia i guess i still get it every once in a while , cant really help you since i grew out of it by having supportive people around me who showed me that it is ok to be me and just relax . you might wanna see someone there is nothing wrong with that espcially that this is affecting your life and education . best of luck
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A
male
reader, Tryx +, writes (12 July 2009):
 Well, you say you are gay, So why not come out and make friends within the gay community?
Comming out can be hard, but it can't be as bad as your day to day life right now...can it?
Be brave and I hope this helps :]
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