A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm bisexual, but I fantasise a lot about being a guy. And this confuses me so much, I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (5 February 2015):
Dear OP,
I'm bi too and fantasize about this occasionally. I don't do anything specific about it.. I just enjoy the fantasy. Maybe it's because we love both sexes, that sometimes we would like to be able to switch sexes, too.. don't know if this makes sense.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2015): I recommend you buy yourself some literature about women's studies or gender studies and take a class on it when you get to college. The topic of gender is one that is studied closely in Women's Studies. I had to take it in college and we learned that gender is not cut and dry as we have been socialized to think. Most of what we know about gender and our relation to it we've been taught. Since birth, girls are dressed in pink and we get dolls and dollhouses for Christmas. Boys are dressed in blue and brown and they get toy guns and baseball bats. At an early age we learn that we are to wear different clothing. Girls are dressed in skirts. Boys are dressed in t-shirts and shorts. Girls get put in ballet class. Boys are put in little league. Even our dreams when we "grow up" are predetermined by society's expectation of our gender. Girls aspire to be teachers. Boys want to be firefighters. This is no coincidence. Children have little choice in the matter. This is not a natural progression of gender. This is intentional social construction of gender. And society gives us little room to question it or even to choose differently without feeling confused and freakish. Because if we do, we may be judged or criticized negatively. And we are going against the grain.Some people take to it just fine and never question it. But others like yourself, don't. Because your gender identification is not cut and dry. And it doesn't easily fit into this black and white mold, with no shades of grey, that society has created for everybody. It's either this or it's that. You are either a boy or a girl. And the reality is that sexuality and gender is not cut and dry. There are so many levels to it. And that these shades of grey exist is taboo and it is a topic with little to no information available to people. But anyways, I encourage you to pick up a book on gender studies. And eventually take a course. It will answer all of your questions and hopefully bring comfort and acceptance to how you are feeling in what right now feels like a confusing time. Wish I could recommend something but I am not familiar with any. Just took a intro course in college and had to read lots of essays from authors that I don't remember.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (4 February 2015):
 In your heart of hearts, do you identify as a man? You may want to read about transgender identity. There is support in the LGBT community, they can guide you through a confusing time. I'm sure there is a mentor that you can find from the community who can help you with this time. You're young so it's hard to say whether this is just a time where you're questioning, or should identify as a transgender male, or what. The good news is you have your whole life to figure out who you are, and that may not be comforting especially in high school when it feels like a lot of what you do is under a microscope, but know that there is no rush to "come out" that you do soul searching and in your own time, when it feels most right, speak your truth and identify how you see fit. Good luck and much love!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2015): you could have a sex change OPeration.other than that you just have to live with the body you have been given think about the positive. You could have a tail or webbed feet or some other malformity.if you have a beautiful healthy body you should be thankful no matter what chromosomes put it together.
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A
male
reader, Adam197  +, writes (4 February 2015):
I'm a bisexual male and I've occasionally fantasized about being female. I think if I could have chosen my sex it would have been female. Explore the fantasies, see where your mind takes you. Eventually you will probably become comfortable with them. It may also be helpful to seek professional counselling if you find the fantasies distressing.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (4 February 2015):
 Try cross-dressing in a safe environment and see how you feel. We all have fantasies, whether sexual or general, some are good to try and others aren't. This one could be :)
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