A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a college student, and I've been hooking up with this guy for the past few months whenever we are near each other (he goes to school across the country but lives near my school) and he's made it seem as though he likes me as more than just a convenient hook up. However, this summer I saw that he posted a comment on the facebook wall of a mutual friend about a date he's having with another girl and how much he is looking forward to it. I know dating would be impossible because of the distance and the lack of basic groundwork to make it last long distance, but I cant help but be a little hurt. Any advice?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (24 June 2010):
 If he liked you as more than a casual hook up, he would be treating you as more than just that. Move on, he's not going to want more.
A
female
reader, Sweetjen +, writes (24 June 2010):
Well girl it is what it is , in a situation like that i would keep it moving act like he dont exist not rudely thou but do u its not like he ur man so u gotta be happy too and do what make u feel good!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 June 2010):
All you've been doing is hooking up when you're both around. That's all. There was never anything definitive. I'm afraid to say that all you really are is a hook up. If you had wanted to take it further, you really needed to have said that. Because from the sound of it, he's starting to move on. I think the time has come for you to move on from this guy permanently.The distance won't work as you have pointed out, and it's clear that you want more and he doesn't. You need to move on now before you go from being a little hurt to very hurt.
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A
female
reader, Blue Sahara +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I think you need to realize that you both agreed for it to be just a hook up. Even if you wanted more, by just having sex with him, you were agreeing just for the hook up. It's kind of like signing a contract between the two of you. If you want to change the contract you have the right to ask for it to be changed BUT he has the right to keep it the way it is. He hasn't tricked you or cheated on you in some way. He is being very open about it since he posted that statement in a place that you might see it. That means in his mind, you two are just casual.
I know it probably hurts because you were hoping for more. But men are like women in that if they want more, they will go for more, no matter how hard it is. I don't know if he is telling you he can't do long distance or you just feel that way but I think it's so important to understand that long distance relationship can work because both people want them to. When one person doesn't, that's when they fall apart. Like any relationship.
If you are at a place where this is hurting you, I think you need to tell him that. You can ask for more but if he doesn't want to do it, he is just sticking to the original agreement.
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