A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am a 40 year old Virgin. And I do not understand how the rest of the human race can be so relaxed about something like sex! When the so called facts come out on T.V show '' most males lose it aged 16 '' 16 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remmber being 16 and 17 ect. The LAST thing I wanted to do was have sex! I could not stand a girl to even see my spotty wimpy body!!! Never mind all that sex thing! And what about AIDS? In the late 1980's the press scared the hell out of me! I still today ( 2012 ) would be scared to have sex for fear of getting Aids. But I can't see me ever doing it!!! It just too odd a thing to do!!! Do people really have sex??? I think it's all made up. Becasue woman have never seemed to want anything much to do with me, and when I was a kid back in the 1970's woman where NOT into sex . It was JUST men , becasue they where like lust monsters!!! So why would females want sex? I do not understand? Human females just have a hole! They do not come like men do. So why would woman have sex? They are just being used by men. Or at best geting a hole blocked up by a willy!!!!! So why would women want to do that!? The older I get the more I think sex is odd and made up. Or if it does happen it's only done my a small group of the human race who or just doing it to see what's it's like because you or told it's such a great thing. Well I am happy to say I am a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AND I DO NOT CARE ABOUT SEX!!!!!!!JOHN.P.S - I HATE THAT FILM ! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012): If EVERYONE never have sex again or remain a virgin till the day they die. What would happen?
I WILL TELL YOU.
The scum that is the human race would be gone.
And Shetland Pony's would rule the Earth!!!!!!!!
That is my dream!!!!!!
john :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): Listen pet , I do not need any help.
I did A level psychology in back 1994.
So I know I am not mad. Ok.
I just have a very strong mind , unlike the rest of the sheep.
I am dyslexia. So my mind works in a diffrent way to most.
And I must say that all this '' you need help '' allso comes from the U.S.A
WE Brits just get on with it - stiff upper lip.
John - Newcastle, England.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 John,
You need professional help. You are taking everything we say and twisting it to meet your needs. Your views are fine for you. I don’t care about your virginity or your religion or non-religion and that has NOTHING to do with it either. But your need to have us agree with you is over the top. I have asked you about seeing a professional therapist and you ignored that. Much like my Emotionally disturbed son, you don’t answer the HARD questions you just try to justify your thinking with more irrational statements.
You have what we call “stinking thinking” Free love and sex did not come from the USA. In fact, sadly the USA is one of the most REPRESSED countries sexually I have ever seen.
As for sex on TV and film…. It’s just a reflection of what’s more acceptable to talk about openly now. But all these things were going on centuries ago…
Don’t you realize that sex was around and interesting to people LONG before you were born, before your dad was born, before your granddad was born etc etc etc. Sex was around before we had written word. Sex was around and interesting to people before we had marriage. Before we had societal norms that made folks like you feel out of place.
Ok let’s try to have a normal conversation here….
Let’s say that EVERYONE in the world agreed with you that we should ALL be celibate for the rest of our lives… that EVERYONE should either never have sex again or remain a virgin till the day they die.
What would happen?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): ALL this sex, sex, sex came from the United States!
All that free love back in the 1960's.
I am an atheists, so it's got nothing to do with god with me. I was just joking about putting your finger in someone’s ear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not me who thinks sex is cool , it's the rest of the human race and the press. Look at all the sex on T.V and film today!
From 1987-1993 Micahel Jackson ( the best thing to come from the U.S.A. ) HE made it very clear he was a virgin and it just made the press pick on him more!
john.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 June 2012):
John,
You are strongly trying to justify your belief.
“Be a virgin it’s cool”…. Watch the human race die out. There are religions that demand celibacy for its’ members not just it’s clergy. The Shakers being one. So they don’t’ have sex… and the only way to get new members is to have converts or adoptions. Guess what.. there is ONE Shaker community left in the United States and it has 5 members… when they die that’s it.
There is a reason most humans have a biological drive to mate…
I’m not puzzled at all as to why you say what you say.. I get you… totally. Sex is NOT COOL. It’s a biological drive much like eating, sleeping and pooping…
THERE is NO RULE that says sex is cool…. People that CHOOSE to be celibate are fine with me… what’s NOT cool is trying to get everyone to believe what you believe…. What’s not cool is trying to do away with free choice…. It’s a CHOICE to be sexual… while it’s a biological drive it’s not a NEED like eating, sleeping, and breathing….
NO ONE made up a RULE that sex is cool… this is your belief. It’s a skewed belief. Feel free to be asexual and celibate… no one is telling you not to…
As for letting your dick rule your life, honey I don’t have a dick (well I do but he’s home right now and I’m not)…. SEX does NOT rule our lives… in fact we can go weeks without sexual contact and we sleep in the same bed every night… we do kiss and hug and cuddle daily… but that’s NOT sex right? We are not being rule by his dick… or my parts either… no one BUT YOU says that sexual people are ruled by their genitals.
Putting your finger in someone’s ear does not make the population grow but some folks like it and do it.
IF you have never had sex that’s fine but you can’t argue that it’s a cool thing to do and that it’s a rule and that’s why we who choose to be sexual do it. I mean really there are a lot of rules that I don’t like that I don’t follow…
SEX for the majority of the population is a fun activity and we enjoy it…
It’s much like someone saying to me “don’t eat broccoli because I don’t eat it and I don’t like it so I don’t understand why others do”… because some do and some don’t.
I like fruit. My partner does not eat fruit. I wish he ate fruit. Fruit is good for him. The rule is 5 fruit or vegetable servings per day. He ignores that rule. You go ahead and ignore the sex rule.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2012): Why did I post this if I am happy??Is the big puzzle to a lot of you!! Becasue it really BUGS me that the rest of the human race thinks it's so cool to be having sex! Why ? What is so dam cool about it ?I think there are a lot more males and female like me the world - BUT - The rules of life say having sex is cool and not having sex means you are some kind of freak! Why? Who made up this silly rule? What's so cool about leting your dick rule your life?My MIND is in my head ! What if the new cool thing was to put your little finger into someones ear!!!! Wow ! That's so great - it's so much fun . And I am so cooooool for doing it. I know I am one in a million. Better than being a sheep like the rest of the human race! Be a virgin, its COOL!best wishes JOHN :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 June 2012):
John,
I know you are not a troll but you have a feeling that there is more going on here than just a lack of self-esteem.
I am not sure if your skewed views of women and sex are learned behaviors or if your belief stems from an organic issue. You seem much like an Aspie kind of person to me.
They have to have very black and white views and they WANT approval of things that folks don't care about.
IF you are happy then that's fine and no one cares. The fact that you posted tells me you are not happy and you do care what we think.
So can you tell me WHY did you post?
do you seek validation?
do you want us to talk you out of it?
Have you ever seen a professional therapist?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 "have a go ? " " get mad " ?.... OP, why should I get mad if you don't have sex ??? I think you are projecting your own feelings : apparently YOU, by your own admission, don't understand the point of having a sex life, and since that, statistically speaking, puts you within a small minority, that makes YOU upset and frustrated .
My point was simply, there is nothing to " understand ". Same as you don't drink , because you don't like it , and a lot of the people you know drink because they like it.
If you don't FEEL like you are missing out, then you are not missing out on anything, and you can happily continue being celibate . Don't be surprised ,on the other hand ,if people find it odd, because it is, in the sense that yours is a very unusual choice, which is not shared by a wide majority of people from both genders. But, odd or not, what do you care: whatever works for you .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2012):
All my life people allways think I have a girl freind? And when they find out I don't they think it is odd. If I told them I was a virgin they would drop dead of shock!!!! Even back in the late 80's when I was Mr spotty face older woman who I wroked with used to think all the teenage girls where after me! But I used to just think they where being kind to a young lad. When I had very long hair family used to say I looked very like Michael Praed when he played Robin Of Sherwood. Tons of woman used to like him back in the 80's so I guess I must be good looking. But I still never got the feeling girls like me. Some times when I am in a big head mood , I think I am so good looking that woman don't think I will like them - so they do not like me!
If woman did the asking out I would know - but woman still wait to be asked? And I can't ask becasue I do not know if they like me!!!!!!!!! So here I am at 40 , still a virgin. Even if a women wanted to do it with me, I do not think I could , I am just too shy. And I still think women just have sex to keep men happy. If I love someone I would feel very upset that she just let me to keep me happy.
John.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): I am allso a teetotaller and I don't get the fun in getting drunk. It makes you sick. Hate smoking! I am allso a atheists! I prefer reading, working out 3 times a week, going for long walks. I think Michael Jackson was a god. Think Tom Baker is STILL the best Dr who. And the only female I understand is a chestnut Shetland Pony, becasue unlike human females she makes it very clear what she wants form me! FOOD , FOOD and more food!
It's funny how the first person to have a go at me was female - maybe it's becasue women like all men to act like walking dicks!!!! And when it does not happen they do not understand so get mad.
Maybe I like M.J and Tom Baker's Dr who , becuase both where not into sex!
I am not a troll , I am just John.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): I need to clear this up a bit! It MUST happen , becasue we are all here. However - I do not belive it goes on half as much as we are told. As for women being in to sex?! That's just odd. Growing up in the 70's and 80's I allways got the feeling that women where more in to falling in love and that sex was just somthing they did to keep men happy and in love with them. Do women today really think like that? Do they look at a male and think what it would be like to have sex with them! God that is an odd! I am very , very shy. I never would think any female would think that about me. The only female who I think liked me was a pen-pal I had in my 20's. I sent her my photo and she said I was -
'' a really good looking guy '' But she kepted falling out with me , becasue I am so shy that I just wanted to keep being pal-pals. This happend on and off for about ten yaers, we would write for a while then she wouold stop. Then when we started again she would hint more and more about talking to me are meeting me. But I live in the North and she lived far down in the south of england. Was she trying to get me down there so she could get me into bed with her!?? I do not think so - I still do not understand women likeing or wanting sex.
john.
p.s - what is a troll? A troll to me is out of the book, the lord of the rings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): Women don't always experience an orgasm, like men do; however we can and do orgasm.
Next, it isn't 'just a hole.' There is more to the intimate female sexual anatomy than just the vagina. Similarly, there is more to a male's than just his 'willy.'
If you use a condom during male/female vaginal sexual intercourse, the likelyhood of catching something like AIDS is incredibly slim. The HIV virus that causes AIDS is transmitted between people who engage is risky, unprotected, rough sex (especially anal sex) and between IV drug users who share needles.
Finally, if you are 40 and see no reason to have sex, then don't. Personally, i think your issues go beyond intimacy and you may want to seek counseling to improve your views of yourself (your lack of confidence specifically).
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (16 June 2012):
I suspect this may be a troll post, and if it is, well, it's a funny, amusing one, good job, OP:).
If I am wrong and this is a real post... what's exactly your question, or your problem , OP ? what are you asking ?...
If sex really exists, if people do it for real ? Come on, OP, - you are alive, and I am alive, and Uncle Aidan is alive, and all the Aunts and Uncles on Dear Cupid are alive, we all were born by people who had sex ; as a matter of fact, we are over 6 billions people on this planet , so your theory of the " only one small group of the human race " can't be right- or,at least, the small group has a massive amount of frequent flyer bonus points, to be able to move around so fast all the time all over the planet !
As for, " why people have sex and what do they like about it ?" the answer would take several volumes, but I'll make it short and simple : personal tastes ,OP. What's so strange in that, if you think about it ?
Vegetarians don't understand what's so great in eating meet, teetotallers don't get where's the fun in getting drunk, atheists don't see the purpose of going to church. I prefer spending an afternoon reading, rather than sweating at the gym- and other people prefer the opposite.
Just because something does not appeal to you, it does not necessarily means that it SHOULD not appeal to anybody else . There is really nothing to understand ,OP. As long as nobody is tryng to force YOU to have sex , it's all cool. You keep doing your celibate thing, we weirdos keep doing our bewildering sexual stuff, and everybody is happy.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 June 2012):
It’s great that you’re happy remaining a virgin, nobody should be disrespectful of the choice you have made not to have sex. However, some of your views about sex don’t really stack up: Firstly, you write that: “Females just have a hole,” presumably you’re saying that there’s no reason why females would want to have sex because it can’t be pleasurable for them? But it can, women have erogenous zones, the clitoris being the most sensitive and the primary cause of the sensation of pleasure from sexual stimulation. Right, that’s a very basic biology lesson over. Now to AIDS! There is no reason to be overly fearful of contracting AIDS through sex. If you have a single sexual partner and you are both exclusive with each other, provided neither of you have HIV there’s no chance of infection at all. What’s more, we have condoms to protect people from infection where there is any doubt. Yes, there are a range of sexually transmitted diseases that people can pick up, most of which are curable, whilst others, even serious ones like HIV, are manageable. There was, as you mentioned, a big campaign about AIDS in the 1980s, using the slogan “Don’t die of ignorance.” That campaign came at a time when people were dying in worrying numbers from AIDS. Since then, however, treatments have vastly improved. AIDS occurs when the HIV infection goes untreated and is able to completely destroy the immune system, however improvements in testing, and raised awareness, means that a person with HIV may never go on to develop AIDS, or can live for many decades before doing so. In any case, there’s nothing about sex itself that causes people to contract infections, it’s the choices people make about sex that put them at risk, for example having many sexual partners and not using condoms.
So, if sex is made up, it’s a pretty impressive conspiracy that huge numbers of people have cooked up, is it? How do you square that theory with the massive population growth across the world that we’ve witnessed in recent decades? There’s just too much evidence that it isn’t made up for the idea to have any credibility. Lastly, you talk about no women having ever seemed to want to have anything much to do with you. In terms of sex, why would they? You’ve made it quite clear that you have no interest in sex. Rather than this being more evidence that sex is made up or only practiced by a small number of people, it’s evidence that women are aware that you’re not interested in having sex.
Don’t worry that the choice you have made is one that only a very small minority of men, or women, make. If you’re happy, what does it matter? But sex doesn’t have to be a made up phenomenon that most people actually don’t indulge in just because you don’t have any interest in it.
I wish you all the very best.
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