A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. We have a lot of issues. But before I get into details, let me just clarify that I WANT to make this work. But I would like some people's opinions on how to make us work.Our first issue was that his ex girlfriend lives with him. Although he is a good guy at heart, she's only living with him because her father is abusive, and he kicked her out. The biggest issue I have with her is that she's the one who takes him to work, picks him up, and takes him to school. And complains when she doesn't get to spend time with him. We've talked about this issue, and have tried to resolve it. But it's hard when she's around ALL the time.Our next issue is that we both have a very short fuse. I get angry when he does something like, ditches me, pushes me away, blows me off for someone else, or doesn't seem to respect me. Although I think that's natural, right? But he gets mad if I have a bad day, if I'm not in the mood to have sex, if I freak out about his ex girlfriend being around too much, if I talk to boys, or if I don't feel like driving him somewhere. So we fight. And we're both too stubborn to apologize.I wish I could just make him be a better boyfriend. Like, yesterday evening, we went to have a quick dinner at a fast food place... This girl who was working there, apparently, was supposed to be FWB my boyfriend if he hadn't of dated me first. So while they were talking, (he does NOT like her, btw. He was trying to be polite) she was being rude to me. The fries weren't ready, which I had ordered, so she said, "Would you like them 'numb'?" I figured that was some weird food term, so, naively I said "Sure". The other cashier said, "Numb?" and the girl said, "Yeah, nom nom nom!" Rude. My boyfriend just laughed. She was making fun of me. It kinda hurt that my boyfriend just didn't defend me. There have been times when I've been rightfully mad at him. Like last week I was supposed to pick him up from work, I drive 10 minutes to his workplace, as soon as I pull up, he's driving away with his ex.We've talked about all these issues. It often ends in me crying and him pissed off.Also, I'm very much prone to UTI's. Unfortunately I have one right now, and my boyfriend got mad when I was too sore to do anything sexual. We tried but I had to stop, and now my "condition" is worse. Of course I haven't told him about it, because it's embarrassing. But if I wasn't so sore, would he still be like that?But please tell me, am I being irrational?How can we make this work? I'm too timid to be bossy towards him. That's what he wants, me to make the decisions and tell him what to do. But I can't.Opinions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): Your so called "boyfriend" seems like a complete Douche bag, he doesn't care about you. If he really did love and care for you he'd respect the way you feel. If i was in your situation, I'd be very uncomfortable and the way he treats you is definitely not right. I say you should just leave him. You deserve better, leave him now before you make an even bigger fool of yourself!
A
male
reader, Datsun73  +, writes (16 June 2012):
You are not being irrational but I gotta tell you that he is probably playing you for a fool and is cheating on you because if he really loved you he wouldn't have the ex around and I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you need to move on and don't let him play head games on you leave him and don't look back he does not deserve you at all...
Chris
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