A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm over 27 and dating. One question I get asked a lot is about my past relationships. The problem is, I haven't had any. I've had one problem or head trip after another. I've also been a loner and a bit of nerd. I can honestly say that I am over all of that. I know these women are asking me this question to screen me out, the way an employer would look at past work experience. I know I am a sane, well-balanced guy who will be considerate, but I am afraid that if I am truthful before I get to know a woman I will get dumped by the second date. Any advice on how to handle this question? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (15 January 2012):
The answer is pretty obvious. You have to tell the truth, because if you lie then you could be dating a girl who would dump the person you really are. It doesn't make any sense to date a girl making her think you are different from what your are. Unless you just want to have sex with her and not a proper relationship.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 I agree with Cerberus. It's best to be honest, as a matter of principle, but in this case they would find out anyways. Lying would not only be useless, it would actually backfire.
And then enjoy. One of these ladies could find it "interesting" that she would be taking you to bed for the first time.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 No past history is just as bad as a poor past history, kind of like applying for a job when you have had no prior experience doing that job. So my advise is don't be completely honest, leave a little to the imagination but don't appear like you've never been in a relationship either. No one wants to feel like their dating a 27 year old virgin, so to speak. While women can be very judgemental if a man has had too many previous girlfriends or lovers they don't exactly want to date someone who's never been out of the barn. So fudge a little. You don't have to bear all about any of your former girlfriends, just let it be known that you had a few and when pressed for details about why the relationships didn't work out (yes, they are looking for reasons you were the failure in this equation) be sure you don't bash the former girlfriends completely, that's just poor taste, but you could imply the relationships wasn't fulfilling, or the girl was too flighty or immature for you. Still if you point out a few things the ex did that you appreciated or found sexy it does keep us on our toes going forward. Women like to feel like their man is a valuable commodity and any threat that an ex might still get your attention, will definately make you more attractive to a new woman. Just make sure you don't pour it on or go overboard here because we don't want to feel like you're still hung up on your ex either. It's a fine line. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): Just be truthful and honest it's not a big deal. They will find out eventually and a lie is a bigger deal breaker.
OP there will be women that will be put off by it, you can't help that but there will be plenty that won't too. If you don't get a second date because of this then that woman wasn't a keeper anyway. So if they ask just tell them it wasn't really high on your list of priorities and it's only now you've decided to explore that side of life.
Just make sure when you talk about it you don't make it sound like a negative thing, you were too busy enjoying life and never really felt the need to date or chase women because you never felt like you were missing anything in your life or missing out because you didn't date. Now you feel like it might be fun to try it out.
Don't make a big deal out of it, don't talk about it like it's a depressing thing or that there was something wrong with you because there wasn't.
Most of all though OP, don't be afraid of it being reason for rejection that will happen, women may reject you for any number of reasons, you don't earn enough, you don't have a car, they don't like you haircut, seriously a million different reasons. Always treat rejection as a reason to be proud that you tried, realize you just can't be compatible with every girl, it's a lesson to be learned and each one will help you better your dating technique and there is always another girl around the corner waiting for a guy like you to ask her out. There are a lot of advantages to having no experience too, there are many women out there that like the idea of a guy who is pure and different. Just always handle rejection well, it's not a reflection of you as a person and on to the next woman. The more you do it the easier it gets but you have to be out there doing it. There's no reason to be afraid and it's one of the most fun things in the world when you don't really care too much about things working out.
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