A
female
age
30-35,
*utekids1
writes:6 wks pregnant and worried about our relationship? Is he done with me now? What should I do?I'm 18 and have been in college mostly interested in singing only interesting thing about college is this guy I'm highly attracted to. We had hooked up a few times going out and then it's like he goes from like really interested a few weeks and then he's not answering my texts or calls. Then alll of a sudden he's back to being interested in me. Now he's no longer interested in me and I found out he's had a gf. Yet I'm still deeply in love still and I don't know how to cope with it. I don't want him to never have anything to do with me because I'm pregnant with his child. Yet I don't believe in abortion though. I don't want to lose his interests. I don't even know if I should tell him. Should I tell him or not. What to say about the pregnancy? I'm pro-life it's something I've looked down on. Do you think he'll ever be interested in me only? If so how can I make that possible?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 if you are against abortion then it's NOT an option. cut and dried.
however, being pregnant is not a reason for him to be with you.
you should tell him he has a child coming however..everyone has the right to know they are a parent even if they don't want to be responsible.
and then your choice is do you want to raise the child as a single mom (do you have a family support system) or do you wish to give the child up for adoption (and if you do that there are open or closed adoption options)....
if you keep the baby you will need to have a DNA test and then possibly court ordered child support if he does not want to do the right thing and help support his child.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): As a father of 3 daughters, and yes one of them got pregnant at 17. Now she is 21, and has a beautiful son. However, this is about you, your life and your possible child.You have 3 options:1. Abortion (Against it, but it is your choice)2. Have your baby (How is your support system at home)3. Give him or her up for adoption.These are only things you can decide, as far as the father of the baby goes. Let him go, I know it is difficult. It sound like he is not their for you today or in the future.My question for you is, how is your relationship with your family? As a grandfather who's daughter was in your position, my happiest time is seeing and spending time with my grandson. Do you have parents or family who can assist you? If you don't you will need a support system, that is if you decide to give life to your precious unborn child. If you have questions about adoption, feel free to ask or google it. Many kinds of adoption, incl. open adoption. I wish you the best of luck!!
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Do not even say the word 'abortion' again. It is not an option for you. You are against it, so don't even consider it.
I think you should go through the pregnancy comforting yourself with the fact that you are close to him at least through carrying his child. Be a single mother. Love the child. And IF he approaches you about it, you can tell him. But going sobbing and begging to him now won't help - he will just want you to have an abortion.
So, if you want a quiet, happy pregnancy, don't tell him. Frankly you can always tell him later, but during the pregnancy you need to be safe and loved, and not have someone trying to force you into an abortion.
Don't feel guilty. He did it. He had sex with you. And this is the result. And if he has buggered off - let him (for now). Focus on the little life growing daily within you, and be happy for her or him. Your baby needs a happy mummy : )
The happier the pregnancy, the happier the baby ... trust me.
Your life will, yes, be set on a different course by all of this - but it will be a good one, and you will never ever regret having your baby, whereas you would regret an abortion until the day you die.
(Trust me also on this - I know.)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): He's not interested because he has a new girlfriend, and you guys, as you said, only hooked up a couple of times. He will have to pay child support eventually but that is about it. as you are against abortion your only options are to start preparing for devoting your life to looking after and raising your child with out the father's help, or perhaps consider adopting the child out to another family.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 I'll answer one question at a time.
"Should I tell him or not"? Yes, you should. Its his child and he has the right to know.
"Do you think he'll ever be interested in me only"? - No, he wont. Sorry, but that's the truth. Sadly he never was interested in you in the first place, you were just someone he came to when the girlfriend wasn't available, for whatever reasons.
Pregnancy is no way to be able to get a man to like you or to be interested in you. Even if he is arm-twisted into staying with you just because he is the father, there is no guarantee that it will be a happy relationship. Unless he himself wants it, nothing or no one can ever get him interested in you, so sorry, you cant ever make that possible.
If you are against abortion, which is purely a personal preference, then be ready to raise the child without this man in your life. There's 0.001% of a chance that he would want to claim the baby and be with you. Be prepared for a long and tough battle ahead of you. You have to provide for the best possible life for your child. How supportive is your family? Ultimately its your choice and you have to deal with life as it unfolds.
All the best to you
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Hello,
Yes, you have already had the advice on what to do from pinktopaz. There are two seperate issues.
1. You are pregnant.
2. Is he interested?
You will have to deal with being pregnant first and tell this man that you are carrying his child. That is the first things to do. Tell him and then he knows.
Secondly, from what you have said, he was on and off with his girlfriend so that was probably why he meeting you, then not, then meeting you. We can't know what he will do now that he knows he is going to be your baby's father.
I think for starters, tell him the news and then start to work on having your baby and the future.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): You are really just kids and this is the dating game. You should be going out with different people and learning about relationships. Sadly you are pregnant. This boy is not in a real relationship with you. His feelings are fleeting. He's not ready to be a father or wants to be I'm sure. But you are where you are. Don't expect him to somehow develop feelings for you because of this. This sounds harsh I know but this is a serious situation as your future depends on the decisions you make. If you want the baby you need to concentrate on yourself, be prepared to go this alone with the support of family and friends and not romantically imagine the boy is going to support you. He will need to know and could step up to the mark. You need to talk you your family, as at your age you will need all the support you can get.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (3 November 2011):
Yes, you should tell him. Actually, you need to tell him, he has a right to know.
Just because you're pregnant with his child doesn't mean that he'll become interested in you. There's no way to make him interested if he's just not.
My guess as to why he is highly interested and then not is because when he was having an "off" week with his girlfriend he turned to you. Then when things were good with his girlfriend, he wasn't interested in you anymore. In other words, he used you and now you're pregnant. He cheats on his girlfriend, you shouldn't want him anyway.
If you're so against abortion then it's time to grow up and your focus should NOT be him at all but on yourself and your baby because you really can't count on him being there for you. He could turn out to be a standup guy, but by his behavior, probably not.
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female
reader, smkhan433 +, writes (3 November 2011):
Think of giving away for adoption*** not abortion!
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female
reader, smkhan433 +, writes (3 November 2011):
Think of the child. If you are pro-life, then think of abortion. Your 18.
Some girls think that this will make a guy stay.
Even if it does make the guy stay (which in this generation is less and less)... he will resent you and he's pb not much older and probably cna't provide for the child anyway.
You don't want him to marry you/be with you bc of the baby. you want him to be with you bc you are the girl he wanted most. That despite him getting various gfs his animalistic dominating side just reflected on you...not bc you were pregnant, or anything..but just by being the one for him who was real.
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female
reader, kendra30752richardz +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Wow! First, I want to say I am very sorry you're going through such a stressful time. Second, you are very brave! In my honest opinion, it sounds like you and the baby will benefit if you cut all ties with him. He's apparently not ready for a relationship or to grow up and be a father. I hate that you're going through this and I know how hard it is. You absolutely need to tell him about the baby. What if he does decide he wants to be a good father? The baby shouldn't be denied that if he is suitable and fit. On the other hand if he's going to walk out on you after he knows about the baby and continue to behave this way then it will only hurt the child and you even worse since you guys will be sitting home waiting when he disappears for days at a time. Sometimes for children, it's better to not see a parent at all than to get to see them only when it's convenient for them and then be hurt as to why they're gone for weeks at a time. It's extremely rough on a child. I've seen this first hand. It's a hard decision, but ulitmately you have to decide what is best for you and the baby. I certainly wouldn't waste time though. He will need time to decide if he wants to be a real father before the baby gets here so he should know asap. By the way, being a parent shouldn't be something you get to "decide". But sadly, many men do decide whether or not it's what they want and if they don't they simply leave. Not all of them though! You'd be surprised at how quickly a man can straighten up if he wants the child. I hope you don't get let down though. Just try to approach things lightly and without high expectations from him. Best of luck!
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