A
female
age
30-35,
*ivelifelove
writes:I really need your help.My mother I thought I could trust Out of everyone everything I tell her she goes and tells my step father.She thinks me and my babys dad were having sex in my room when it was a movie and my mother crys about everything my mother is 300 pounds and never leaves the recliner down stairs and always has her dog that she treats better then her own daughter for over 5 years now.she is therating to kick me 6 motnhs prgnant with no were to go and my babys father because she is telling me that she doesnt wantme with the babys father she has tried to break us up several of times in the past and i thought she was over it.Now that I'm Six months pregnant she wants to kick me out.I hope at least she will let me wait until I get my school done and then I will move out for good I have no family at all my mother is self fish and she always thinks that her dog is her daughter I really wish I could have a mother that Doesn't put her dog before her daughter and think that trying to ruion her daughters realtionship I can't take anymore I sit in my room and cry my brains out when i sit in the room and the person I look to talk to my mother calls and trys to get them agents me Im so tired of my family I just want to throw my life away I want to take my kid and run away I can't take it anymor what should i do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, livelifelove +, writes (10 January 2011):
livelifelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe lives with me
and he is and we dont want to seperate for the kid we are trying so hard she wants to get rid of him when he wants to be in the life and there are men out there that dont even see their children
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): Obviously there is alot of pain and disillusionment in the relationship between you and your mother. You feel like she has let you down in many ways, especially emotionally, but mostly just simply as a mother. She confides everything to the stepfather even if that means throwing you under a bus, she saves all her affection for the dog and none for you, she let's her self get extremely overweight, so much so that she has to sit in a recliner all day further limiting her capacity to be available and present for you. Parents are supposed to be self sacrificing. They are supposed to put their kids' needs first. But your mom has not done this.
You feel like this woman owes you for all the love that you have missed out on. You are now pregnant and even though you are young and still living under her roof (which does technically give her a big say in the way things go) you feel like she at least owes you all the affection she deprived you of. Even though you did not do things "perfectly" per se, (and neither did she by a long shot) you know the situation isn't perfect, you simply want her to come through and make up for all the times she didn't. Even if that means going against the grain and housing you and your boyfriend, being there 100% through your pregnancy, just be there for you and make you feel loved. Something you have been yearning for so long from her.
So not only did she deprive you of love and strip you of your innocence when you were just a helpless child, but now that you are older and in real need of her help she just wants to turn the other cheek and throw you to the curb.
Your mom is selfish. She is not a good mother. She can't see past her nose. She can't appreciate anything outside of her own needs. I had a mother who was just like yours. She didn't love me. It took me 30 years to realise it.
It sucks that in a time when you most need a mother your's is so unavailable. I have needed a mother for 30 years. I too have been through really emotional stuff that I wish I had had more support for.
I am sorry but I don't think you can really count on your mother to be there for you. She is a mother, as in she gave birth to you, but I don't think she is a maternal kind of person. She is too self involved. Just be strong and be thankful that you have a boyfriend who cares about you. And if you guys can see if you can try to get your own place. That is the best thing you can do.
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A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 i'm sorry to hear that hun. That is really messed up that the dog is treated better than you. I'm sorry she isn't supporting you like she should. Can you go live with the baby's dad? If you can i would say go and live with him. What does he say about all of this? Is he supportive of you? That is the only thing i can think of. Well that and calling any other distant family member and explaining to them what is going on. I hope everything works out well for you and your baby. I hope that this at least helps you some. Good luck.
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