A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I've only been in 6 serious relationships over the span of my adult life (I'm 47) but I seem to disasterous luck with men. For instance, my first three boyfriends were incredibly good-looking, talkative, fun, adventurous, sexy, a little wild, spontaneous, and interesting. I loved each one dearly, but each one cheated on me and left me shattered emotionally.Boyfriend #4, totally the opposite of my previous pattern. He was stable, sweet, considerate, romantic, faithful, and sincere. But he wasn't much of a talker, he wasn't spontaneous, or interesting or very adventurous, and after a number of years I realized I was bored to tears and the sexual chemistry just wasn't there. Then came boyfriend #5. He was a good communicator, affectionate, faithful, committed and great in bed, but he had extremely negative views about people and life in general. He lived in a very small world, meaning he had literally no goals in life, no ambitions, and wasn't at all open to new things. After 5 years I became exhausted by his negativity, his lack of romance, and lack of adventure.Alas, boyfriend #6 enters stage right. Incredibly good-looking, sexy, adventurous, fun,(uh-oh) intelligent, interesting and FAITHFUL. I cannot believe my good fortune....but then I realize that he has some anger issues. And while he can be sweet, funny, loving, and great in bed, he's also critical, hot-headed, impatient, controlling, snaps at me, uses a harsh tone of voice, and talks to me like I'm stupid when we're working on projects together. I go from extreme "highs" to extreme "lows" in our relationship because of his temperament, and it's wearing me out.In each relationship, I try to be open about their faults because I know no one is perfect. And I've talking about my feelings in each relationship but nothing ever changes. So I'm wondering, am I just being too picky? Or do I just keep picking the wrong men?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Hey
thought this was interesting:
"In each relationship, I try to be open about their faults"
How open to your own faults are you?
Secondly, it would seem not be 'what' you say but the tone in which you say it that would imply there is an attraction to a certain 'type' of person again implying a superficiality and also someone who will not challenge you.
this may be incorrect but i guage this from n number of paragraphs. However, there seems to be some correlation in the base nature to them.Maybe change your archetype of attraction.
Maybe its not that your 'picky' but that your choosing certain people.
Hope this helps.
God Bless,
Excogito
A
male
reader, Blue Rat  +, writes (17 January 2007):
Well you said it: nobody's perfect. And that includes you. Have you stopped to consider your faults and what some of those guys might have written about you if they'd posted on here? That's six different guys and at least 4 widely differing personality types, but you find a serious problem with all of them in the end. You don't like them too wild and adventurous you don't like them too staid and boring, you don't like them lacking ambition, you don't like them fiery. I'm sorry, but what exactly DO you like?
No-one is all postives and no negatives! Perhaps long-term relationships aren't for you. They aren't for everyone, after all. Some people are happier on their own and it seems to me that perhaps you would be.
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