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female
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anonymous
writes: Looking for a man's answer as well. I am 41 years old and my boyfriend is 57 - this age difference has never been a problem for me, but it rears it's ugly head from time to time, like now, and it causes him to have concerns about a future with me and making a true commitment. Guys, what do you think? Am I too young for him? Will it really matter when he's 70 and I'm 54? I don't have a problem with it - I'm totally in love! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I am in a similar situation. I am in love with a man who is 48 and i am 31. You say you are in love and love him. I
assume that he feels the same way. If you both want to be together and are honest and open in your exchanges with one another than it can work. Follow your heart. It's all about how we connect to the other person and how intimate and balanced the relationship is. Love knows no boundaries.
Best wishes to you xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Im in a age gap relationship we have no problems with it what so ever im 37 hes 50.But in the back of my mind i do worry a bit as we get older when he retires i will be still working and when i retire heaven forbid but in reality he might not be around and i will have nobody to share my retirement with.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 If you don't have a problem with it then you should just reassure him as he maybe just feeling 'not worthy'. I am in an age-gap relationship (with me being 11 years older) and I occasionally raise the subject of getting old with my husband. He says he doesn't mind about it and I suppose if you have a strong relationship then age really doesn't matter at the end of the day.
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (21 November 2006):
 Funny one this, in fact my sister and her husband have 13 years between them, she's 43, he's 56. They have been married for over 19 years now (3 kids) and seem quite happy, BUT recently my mum told me that my sister is now starting to notice the gap more and more and this maybe the start of problems to come - I'm not sure. It would be nice to think that age is not an issue and people say "it's just a number". Well it's not ever as simple as that if you ask me. I'm wondering what he's worried about? You running off with a younger man later on maybe ? Maybe he fears the thought of you "looking after" him when he gets even older ? If the real issues are something you can deal with realistically, then I would persevere, reassure him and carry on. Just a little thought did cross my mind, he's not using the age thing as an excuse to commit is he ? (sorry sounding negative but as you mention commitment it did spring to mind). Difficult not to read into questions as you do not elaborate as to why he is having concerns.
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