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female
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anonymous
writes: Hey guys Can anyone suggest how i can get over my lonliness? i have had a pretty bad year this year, through family breavements i have lost both of my nans this year and also my great aunt. Altho i have lots friends and see them all the time i feel sooo lonely. My big sister and i are really close but she has gone to Australia for 6 months she went just over a month ago and im missing her like mad i just feel really lonely without her and im not sure i can face another 5 months without her. I am in the middle of my uni course and can't afford to go out to Oz to see her i feel im stuck in a rut and im pushing myself further and further down! please help XX Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Hey there
What you are describing really hit home as i to have lost both of my nans this year Its so hard And im feeling like you in a way with your sister as my boyfriend is away working. I go through phases where i feel really lonley even tho im serounded by people
How do the two of you keep in contact? Texts are good but i find sometimes that they dont get the point across and you end up sitting around waiying for a text (even tho this is the last thing you want to be doing you cant help it) I like using MSN as it means i can see the person on a webcam Maybe she could go to a internet cafe and do this once a week As Bev said you will look forward to this and the week should wizz by to that day
Its never going to be easy but you have got through a month and im sure you can do the rest
Do you have hobbies that can help keep your mind busy? You will always be thinking about it but keeping busy helps the time go quicker
Hope this helps
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 I'm really sorry about your losses.
It takes time to get over the pain of losing someone you love, particularly if it happened too soon, or too fast. Make some allowances for yourself. You should understand that it's OK to be sad; it's healthier to grieve than to bottle it up and pretend you're OK. And although some people might be "over it" in a few weeks, others take longer. So don't push yourself too hard.
Try to make a point to do some things that you enjoy. Even if you don't feel like it, go out now and then and go horse-riding, or volunteer to read to kids at the library, get some exercise, or see a silly movie with friends. (Or help serve a holiday dinner at the homeless shelter and then reflect on all the good things in your life.) What's important is that you remind yourself how to be happy, and eventually, it becomes easier to be happier for longer periods.
Here's what I suggest for getting along without your sis for the next few months: keep a detailed journal of everything that goes on in your life, stupid things that happened in class, conversations you had, great stuff you saw on TV, things other family members said, what you did at the weekend and on and on and on. Then email it (or smail it, if you prefer) to her, telling her that you miss her and didn't want her to get out of practice at being your sister.
Speaking as a sister who left a close friendship with my sister to go to Australia (yes, really), she will love it.
And you'll probably find that if you look forward to the weekly update more and more, which will help the time to pass.
Of course, don't overlook the benefits of Skype and VOIP for phone calls, either!
Good luck.
-Bev
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