A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm newly single, very upset about it but enough is enough after he cheated one night and I won't tolerate cheating so I am moving on.I worry though as I'm 37 and really hope to meet someone and have a child. I don't have any yet, circumstances, wrong men etc.Can anyone give me some positive thoughts that I will move on, meet someone and hopefully become a mum.I'm starting to worry about it but I dont want to feel pressurised an end up going out with another bad boy but I don't want to have baby alone by means of other routes.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Never say never and 37 is too early to despair. A friend of mine had her first born at 47. A relative of mine was surprised by her last baby at 51.
Said that, don't obsess. There's life without children, and happiness is not about reproducing. As a matter of fact, it may be a coincidence but the most fulfilled, self realized people I know are a never married single woman and an intentionally childless married couple.
Not that having kids makes necessarily your life worse, that's not what I mean, but don't expect that they make it NECESSARILY better. So, hope it will happen, and BELIEVE that if it does not ,there will be dozens of other things and persons that can fill your life and make it happy.
A
female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (7 May 2011):
How about a dating website? One that focuses on matching up people serious about relationships and marriage? And don't worry. There is time. Better to have a baby late or on your own than be caught in a loveless or less than loving marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): I have family members (women) who didn't marry and have kids until well into their 40s. some of them were previously married and divorced without kids, one was widowed very young, another was not married before. In the case of my family members, they adopted children and are now very happy (it's been over 15 years since). so there is definitely hope! I also have women friends who are happily single by choice and in their late 30s, 40s and 50s. try to expand your social circle, try to meet more people. get involved in activities that interest you so you can meet like-minded people. If you're looking for men your age or older, there are many divorced men out there who, like you, are divorced through no fault of their own except for having chosen the wrong person. I also have friends who were in bad relationship but chose to get married anyway because of the girlfriend's insecurities over her biological clock (also in their late 30s). So now they are married and have kids and look like a typical normal family on the outside, when on the inside they are dealing with unimaginable pain and regrets because theirs is a relationship that should not have ended in a marriage but did because of the girlfriend's insecurities and the boyfriend's fear of guilt. It's far better to be a single woman than to be like this. when you're single there's always the hope of finding the right partner who you will be happy with. I say good for you for moving on, for having the guts to end a toxic relationship and not trapping yourself in it due to insecurities. The right man is out there waiting for you.
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A
male
reader, darkwind94 +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Try going to new places and meeting new people and hopefully, you'll find someone that will be with you. Don't worry too much about looks, and make sure it's someone that can understand you. Someone responsible, caring, loving, strong...you get the point? And make sure you are open to new chances at getting into a relationship. Opportunities are only open to those who look for them. And make sure you look around your home town as well. Someone might be waiting, whether he be a few years younger than you, or a few years older than you, make sure you hear them out. And try not to take out random guys from bars, they can be jerks, and even dangerous.And in case you were wondering, you aren't the only person that has been in the same situation as you have; I have grandparents that thought similar when they got near 40, but they worked out fine with 3 kids, and 4 grandchildren!Good Luck!!
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