A
female
age
41-50,
*ernergirl
writes:I am so baffled, depressed and confused. My parents have been married for 40 years, my younger brother has been married 15 years. I am 34 and nothing in sight....Am I disappointment? I have a Masters degree, tons of friends, and I flunk in the love area (not for not trying, my ex of 5 years I gave blow jobs to every night, purchased new lingerie every other night, tried to give cards and fun stuff once a week, gave him "hope you have a great deal text message every day" made dinner, did laundry, fed him desert off my chest.... My family welcomed him with open arms and took him to the Caribbean. What did I do wrong?...because he cheated on me for 4 months (according to the mistress)
View related questions:
blow-job, cheated on me, depressed, mistress, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (26 February 2011):
 You sound like you were a wondeful girlfriend, far better then most even. The only thing I can figure here..Is it possible that he started to take you for granted? You talked a lot about all the things you did for him. But how much did he ever do for you?? Its funny but for some reason a guy responds better if you make him work for it a little. They like the chase. You can never let them know they have got you completely hooked (even if they have) because that's when the trouble starts. When they don't feel like they have to earn it anymore. The more you do for some guys the worse they get about treating you like a doormat. So the lesson here is it's alright to be a generous lover to your man as long as they are giving it right back to you in equal measures.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 "he cheated on me for 4 months (according to the mistress)" Why would you believe anything "the mistress" says? There's not a lot written here for me to go on but have you discussed at length with your ex "of 5 years" why you broke up with him? I think you did a lot for your ex, maybe too much. Is there any desire or possibility of reconciliation with this ex? Do you think other people around you believe you are still in love with your ex so they 'stay away'? I wish I could do a better job here but I don't have a lot to go on. I wish you all the best!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): If you love him and want to forgive him , you can do that. and get married. or try some match making services
...............................
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 February 2011):
 damn. u really need to read WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES.
it refers to ur exact case in the first chapter.
u will immediately realize what you did wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bugsy007 +, writes (25 February 2011):
We are about the same age and I too was engaged for 5 years about 2 1/2 years ago. About a year ago, I met the man of my dreams at work. He is 16 years older than me and we both sometimes wonder how this happened, but I had to grow up very fast as a child with my parents who are divorced and both remarried. I have never had children and have never been married. I have learned that men need their space to do the "man" things for whatever they are into. I have been too needy before with my ex. He was a cop so the trust factor was always in the back of my mind, ya know! However you seem to be a well established woman who is fun, outgoing, and spontanious.. Those are all great qualities to have. I think your one true love will come along when you are least expecting it. Maybe you could try dating an older man. They obviously have more experience with relationships because they have probably been married atleast once, which in turn some do realize why it failed and know what steps to take in the future to ensure they won't be alone. We all want a companion in life. Nobody wants to be alone. Just keep your head held high, have faith in yourself and stay connected to people especially your close friends and family who really care about you. It will help with your depression. Believe me I know... I felt the same way you do when my relationship of 5 years ended too. If you just do things you enjoy that keep you busy, I truely believe the right one will come along for you. Best wishes!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, sophisticated08 +, writes (25 February 2011):
 just relax the right guy will come along... im sorry that it didnt work between you and your ex.. he seems like he is just a jerk... you didnt do anything wrong you were the girl that most guys want. it was him who was the problem Blonde68 is right he really did want to have his cake and eat it toyou deserve better forget him , the right guy will come along when you least expect it... just enjoy life you have a lot going for you ... good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (25 February 2011):
He was a very greedy man, that is what was wrong hun! Please don't beat yourself up about it and don't change the way you are.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape because he obviously wanted his cake and eat it.
There will come a day when you will find a man who appreciates you and all you do, someone whom is satisfied with what one has.
...............................
|
