A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl at a party the other day and we got on well although we were both quite drunk and I didn't think anything of it (Just assumed we were casually talking - i've never been good with signs!). After however friends of mine were saying that we both seemed interested in each other and I should pursue it. So, seeing as she is a friend of my friend's sister, I asked for someone to get her number for me. She said it was ok for me to have it and we've agreed to meet sometime next week. However...a few things I'm unsure of...Is it ok to go out with a friend's sister's friends? (he himself doesn't know- it's other friends that suggested it). Secondly she was incredibly attractive and I am concerned that she is out of my league but was a bit too drunk too remember things clearly so is taking a chance herself..I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing as my confidence isn't exactly huge!Thirdly-my biggest concern - I am 27 and I found out she is only 20 :s Normally I have always said this is too much of an age gap and I wouldn't go out with someone that young but in your opinions do you think this is a problem?Many thanks for your time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): Age gap isn't the issue. The issue here is how your friend would feel. Would you mind if he dated your sister or mother?
I have a rule about dating friends sisters and that's never to do it but that's just me. You have to decide yourself whether that matters to you or not and whether you wouldn't mind the potential to lose this guy as a friend because of this. Basically are the potential consequences worth the risk or is there even that much of a risk etc. These are things you have to weigh up, plus the idea of telling him before you decide to meet her. Are you willing to do that or are you thinking of waiting until he finds out from someone else? Maybe even her.
Basically it may be a good idea to protect your friendship if this guy matters to you, if having him in your life is important then you may want get approval first, because frankly relationships are fleeting especially with 20 year olds. So basically the choice may boil down to his friendship and getting with his sister. Only he can tell you.
A
male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (21 July 2011):
1. A friend's sister's friend is definitely OK. That's plenty of separation, so if things don't pan out you won't run into her all the time. A friend's sister would be too close, for example, but this girl isn't your buddy's sister.
2. As far as your confidence, the best advice I can give you is to completely disregard the concept of "leagues". Women in particular put a lot more weight on personality that guys do, but for both sexes looks aren't everything. You must have made a positive impression, even with the drinking, because she was OK with you getting her number AND she agreed to a meeting. Just roll with it! Don't get preoccupied with how hot she is, just approach the date as you would any other. Things will be fine!
3. Regarding the age gap, I don't see an issue. I'm 35 and have dated women as much as 12 years younger than I am during the course of the last six months. The important thing is that the two of you have some common ground. As long as you click together, then the age gap is irrelevant. In fact, it is not uncommon for women to prefer dating guys who are a little older as men their own age can be immature or lack the experience to treat them the way they want to be treated.
So, I think the bottom line here is just go for it! You obviously are into her, all signs are that she's into you... why not give it a chance and see what happens?
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (21 July 2011):
 dont worry about the age gap. meet up with her and dotn worry about your friend, if he has a problem with it at this age he needs to grow up.
hopefully things will go well. good luck!
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (21 July 2011):
 You're both legally consenting adults, age is simply a number. Whether or not she is in the same place you are in wanting a relationship however is a completely different story and something you have to find out on your own.
As for being out of your league, that is completely arbitrary. She seemed interested in you enough before. She doesn't seem to think she's 'out of your league'. Don't put yourself down, go in with confidence! If she decides you aren't good enough for her, then screw her you don't need someone that vain in your life anyway.
Her being a friend's sister's friend is only a problem if you make it one. Go into this with a level head and don't make a big deal out of this fact.
Hope this helped. Good luck.
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