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I'm 25 and a virgin... But I want to lose my virginity to another virgin.

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2008) 20 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2017)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm a 25 yr old male and I'm a virgin. I'm horribly shy towards women but on top of it all I want another virgin. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack to find a virgin that I even like. I only have a certin taste and if it's anything less the relationship fails.

I just recently tried to get in a relationship with someone that seemed perfect but she left to be with a man she broke up with like 3 times before. I just don't trust any woman that has had sex before and I want the feeling to be mutual when me and my lover has sex for the first time. I feel trapped. I've been on blind dates and did the bar hopping thing but it all turns out the same. I've even been offered to be in a foursome with three other woman and I just left. What the hell do I do? Am I doomed to be alone?

View related questions: broke up, shy, trapped

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A female reader, lisaannette82 United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2017):

I'm 34 female and I'm a virgin I've been looking for someone who is a virgin like me I know how u feel it feels impossible. I feel like there's something wrong with me

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A male reader, Nathaniel34 United States +, writes (21 June 2012):

Hi I am 34 and a virgin! I have seizures all the time and cant drive. I feel like I will never find woman to love. Especially because of my seizures I dont think they wont like me.

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A female reader, vectorsils31r United States +, writes (12 November 2010):

vectorsils31r agony auntMy god 25 a virgin, a male, THANK GOD there's such a thing, I find such things highly respectful, its something I only wish to find in my life. Just that kind of man. :-)

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A female reader, Sara10  +, writes (4 October 2010):

I am also 23 and a virgin. I trying to stop thinking about finding a man but sometimes I feel I am lonly and I will stay lonly all my life and nobody want me.

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A female reader, Dixienaddy United States +, writes (4 May 2010):

Your not doomed.. When you find the right person nothing else will matter! Everyone worries their first time but your worrying about the wrong things. I think as soon as you find the right person eveything will fall into place. No hurrry.. everything happens for a reason. Respect Gods plan..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009):

I was a virgin until age 29. I fully understand your desire for a girl who is a virgin. No man wants some other man's leftovers.

My wife was not a virgin when we married. She had been with at least 2 other men, but I never had the courage to ask exactly how many. I have always resented her for this. I did not think it would be a problem for me, and at first I was OK. However, she seemed to compare me subconsciously to her previous lovers - just a feeling I got after we had sex. I just kept thinking more and more about her previous sexual experiences as time went on.

We will be separating soon.

I really wish I had waited for a virgin...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

I totally understand your feelings. There are many virgin women out there, but understand that those type of women will probably not be the ones who will come up to you and say, "Take me, I am the virgin you've been waiting for."

They will want a man who takes action and approaches them in the right way, with regard to who they are inside, not for the fact of their virginity. After all, think of what made YOU abstain, and then imagine what kind of woman you are asking for, and be prepared to fight for her.

Good luck. You will find her - a gorgeous Greek virgin!

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A male reader, fleshbound Canada +, writes (15 October 2008):

The reality of a virgin man

i really dont know about women, but for a man being a virgin hurts a man deeply.

The decision from a man who's not even religious

to want a girl who is virgin is well understood by other men.

A virgin man instincts will steer for only virgin women. But when the man is faced with the reality of never getting one life is automatically over and theirs no hope for recovery.What gives a man life is victory and pleasure.

Pleasure comes after victory but if defeated pleasure is just not the same.

Having to be with a women who's been used by another man is just revolting to a mans taste buds. Its like tasting another man except tasting it off a women.

The only thing left to do is either go mad and taste that man covered women.

OR

keep your virginity because losing again is just not worth it.

However relationships are not much affected by this. A man will make his decisions just less happier but owell love can still be experienced atleast.

Personally i think being with a virgin can make a man eternally happy. You just miss out way to much with a non virgin to get that real happiness i mean. women must just hate my personality lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

K so personally, I sorta feel the same way as you do. I'd really like to find a male virgin, but they're so hard to find, it seems like. Of course I still take the time to get to know men, and if I really fell in love with them, but they had had sex before, I would make an exception

HOWEVER...if the man had had sex with more than 1-2 partners, that would just look unappealing to me..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

Sigh???!!!! (Diovanlestat leaves room)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

Hi, I am the one who wrote this and I'd like to comment on a few things. 1.) I do NOT judge people who have had sex before but I do judge people who are out to just have sex with some strange person and leave. Unless this is consensual you never know how bad you're hurting that person. It might be someone who was really looking for a relationship and you just burnt them by just up and leaving them after you got your rocks off. 2.) My main reasons for finding another virgin is to find someone who is not out just to have sex. People who feel sex plays a major role in a relationship are really missing the point of a relationship. I want some one who likes me for who I am and not some chick who is fascinated with taking my virginity and asking questions later. Casual sex I'd imagine can be fun until your penis looks like a payday candy bar or your vagina looks more chapped than lips in dry heat. If I can't enjoy the person on a day to day basis than sex means nothing. The feeling of experiencing something for the first time with a lover can be infinitely powerful be it dance lessons, a trip to rome, or in this case sex and I would love to be able to have that feeling. I hope this cleared somethings up and hope to hear more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

Hi mr male anonymous, you've been hanging out with the wrong type of people. There is nothing wrong with remaining a virgin, even if you choose to remain a virgin untill the day you die.

The lady's comment was offensive to me personally. She was implying only virgins have respect and morals. That's judgemental. Please read my post carefull, I made no judgements, I just tried to help.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

I don't agee with you DiovanLestat.

Admitting to being a virgin in public will get you "judged" faster than anything.

As soon as it comes out, everyone wants to know why you held off on having sex. It's accepted if you're religious or if you never had a chance to have sex. But if you say you held off for any other reasons, then all the non-virgins assume they're being judged whether they are or not.

And if you admit that you held off for non-religious reasons and you also want a virgin partner, there is no hope of convincing anyone that you're not looking down on them.

As a virgin, other people let you have your belief as long as you make sure to humbly treat it like some kind of neurotic personal problem that you know you've got. You aren't supposed to show any signs of actually PREFERRING it over than the non-virgin lifestyle, or else you're automatically judging everyone else.

Imagine if we didn't let anyone show preference to their own religion without saying they were automatically looking down upon other faiths?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

"I praise you for being a virgin, at 25 years old. This shows you have morals and respect for yourself" Jasmine05

I wonder what you virgins think of us non-virgins here? This is a worrying statement. All virgins moral and respectfull, non-virgins immoral and disrespectfull... Is the next step a division between black and white, women and men.... I'm not sure I like what this type of thinking brings to the world.

Dear caller I suggest you try joining as many churches, mosques and religious places as possible. If there are any virgins left, they probably can be found there.

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A male reader, saltwater United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2008):

saltwater agony aunt"I just don't trust any woman that has had sex before"

That is extremely jugdemental, and probably why you are getting nowhere. Personally I have never understood what the problem is about finding a partner that has already had sex;

I understand you wanting to find another virgin -- and good luck to you -- but dismissing a woman because she has already had sex is, well, frankly ridiculous.

Because in effect you are saying is that every women that has ever walked the earth that has had sex is untrustworthy.

Which is pure *lunacy*

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008):

You can hold out but this probably won't happen.

And don't expect to be able to admit this demand in public. You'll get chewed out for it whether you're a virgin or not.

Most women don't have the same feelings about this so the majority of them will not really respect your feelings very much.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008):

I am also 25 and a virgin. I know it is hard to find a virgin but believe me many are there. Good luck and do not compromise with ur values.

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A female reader, Tigger3165 United States +, writes (10 July 2008):

Tigger3165 agony auntthe perfect mate doesn't exist... i'm sorry... they don't... you dream and dream of what you want to find, and no one can ever live up to it... but eventually, you'll find that person that is perfect FOR YOU... and they may be nothing like what you thought... i'm not sure why you want to have another virgin... but would you risk losing your virginity to someone you could really have a life long relationship with, just because they weren't a virgin, or they didn't fit into your perfect little mold?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008):

It's hard out there. Im actually looking for the same thing. And I'm your age. Be true to yourself. It will happen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008):

There's nothing wrong with how you are feeling. I am a 25 year old woman who is a virgin and Is looking for the same thing. Its hard. Be true to yourself and Don't give up. It will happen

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