A
male
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anonymous
writes:I'm a 21 year old male.... and I found a girl whom I have feelings for.... the thing is she's 15 years old... I'm afraid to date her because of what people might think. Shes a great girl but the age difference is the only problem...Anything anyone has to say on this matter would be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): I meet my ex boyfriend when i was 14, he was 21. We were together for a couple of years. The years we had together were great, he matured me.
I think that you should get to know her a little better, make sure it's something that you really want to get into. If your still unsure you could wait for her to turn 16.
A
female
reader, GirlLeastLikelyTo  +, writes (10 January 2009):
You are NOT a paedophile, take no notice of some the narrow-minded comments you have received so far. That fact you are concerned about the age difference suggests you are not a perve and are in fact sensible and level-headed.I agree with Griffo. Don't rush things and be discreet and careful. 15 year-old girls are very mature for their age and if you go out on a date where no one is likely to know you, it is unlikely anyone will be aware of the age gap.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, nickie123 +, writes (10 January 2009):
 I know how you feel, I like an older man and I am 15 too. Date other people cause you might go to jail for this and she is a child she has to learn of life first until going out on the worldor if you really love her wait for her date some other woman and probably you fall in love with them but you should think first of the consequences hoped I helped :)
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Take legal advice because technically she is a child and as great as she is this is classed as child abuuse and you would be labelled as a pheadophile. Stick to someone of your own age
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (10 January 2009):
 you mean she's a great "Child" and you're well on your way to becoming a pedophile.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Take it slow. Keep your 'dating' very public. I mean by that to basically always have a chaperone. Be together in a group or at her house when her parents are there, that kind of thing. No dates alone for now. That way no one, including her parents, can question the innocence of the relationship. This will give no ones tongues a chance to wag and will also give the two of you a chance to get to know each other better without the pressures of potential innapropriate intimacy. Once she turns 16, then you can begin to -slowly- add one on one dates if her parents approve. But you really should not plan on becoming sexually intimate with her until she is 18. Can you wait that long? Really think about that. Depending on when her birthday is, you have as much as 3 years until she is 18. Is she really that wonderful that you can wait? If she is, and you can commit to waiting, go for it! This age differance is really not bad. It is just the timeing for the beginning of the relationship that is bad. In a few short years it wont matter at all. But do things right now so that you will have a good future together.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (10 January 2009):
wait untill she is 16. it won;t be such a bad thing then and plus you will never get yourself into any trouble.
just a question, but do you actually have much in common with a 15 year old? i know i could never even think about dating a 15 year old guy, they are so boyish and immature. why don't you stick to older girls?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): Even if you keep it a secret, someone else will know, and it could get out, and it could get ugly. My advice is this, if she worth your time, then wait the year or three years until there are no legal ramifications before you engage in intimate relations. There are lots of ways to be intimate with someone without sexual intimacy. Learn everything about her, send her letters, write poems, challenge her with riddles. If you wait, you both will appreciate it more, and when the time is right, it will be right. My motto is, "No regrets!"
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (10 January 2009):
 I'd keep it secret untill she's the legal age limit to have sex. Reason being i know you guys would probably do the right thing its just that alot of people could be thinking you must be having sex with her. And this would cause unnessary rumors and potentially distroy the relationship.
How long till she's 16? Just take it slow and let it grow over time dont go all out and tell everyone. If you do it like this eventually everyone will just know and be cool with it.
As you get older that gap doesn't really matter anyway so it will just get easier the longer you are together. My sis did this and it worked just fine. Just be discreet about it.
Cheers.
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