A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been hanging out with a girl I met online and we both like each other lots.We both like each other lots and hae said its likely that we may end up dating in the future.The one that worries/bothers me is the age difference and laws of dating.I'm 20 and she's 15. Would it be illegal for us to date. I'm not saying there will be any sexual contact because I know the consequences (sp?) of it. And I don't fancy landing my self a 10-15 year sentence in a cell.Her parents know how old I am and they're ok with it and the same with my mum (parents are divorced).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Hi. Original poster here except of a diff. computer etc.As people have said - wait, which is what I plan to do. As the question said I wouldn't fancy landing an 8+ year sentence from a (major) mistake I made.She said that the answer would yes to asking her out but in the future (I'm assuming when she's 16 or 17 which is when I would wait myself.)I asked the question just on the slight chance we ended up dating before she was of legal age.I do try and go out on a night and meet people but the problem is that the nightlife in my area is terrible and if I do go anywhere, it's where the "Trendies" go and I'm far from that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): if your relationship is ment to be it will survive a couple of years wait until she is matue enough to cope with the relationship. i fell madly in love with at 15 with a 32 year old. although he felt an attraction he resisted the temptation to get involved, telling me to go off and enjoy life. i finished school & college, then went travelling. i returned home aged 24, we bumped into each other again and the rest is history. we've just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. give her time let her grow as an individual and if you do get together down the line your relationship will be all the better for the wait. good luck i hope you both enjoy a good life together eventually!!!
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (1 June 2008):
 enjoy being anally raped in prison by your cell mate Big Bald headed john.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (1 June 2008):
 No one else has said it but Im sorry I have to ask why you would want to date such a young girl. Can you not find someone nearer your own age!! Ok if you absolutely want this girl and no other then I think you should wait a year until she is 16 and then see what happens.
Your intentions are good and you say you are prepared to wait to have sex but the reality is not always that easy and its all too easy to get caught up in the moment and end up going the whole way. Would it be worth ruining both of your lives for this? You could actually have a prison sentence if you got found out.
I think the fact you have asked this question tells me in your own mind you think this is maybe not quite the right thing to do. I certainly wouldnt let my 16 year old date a 20 year old let alone if she was 15.
If she really is the love of your life then waiting wont harm the relationship
x
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A
female
reader, angelrockheart +, writes (1 June 2008):
yes you can date but do not have sexual intercourse until she is ready - good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the fast answers. And also thanks for the bit about being wise etc.
I've know 5 (yes, 5) people my age who have gotten pregnant etc due to unprotected sex and its something I don't want to be involved in.
I also wouldn't want to hurt anyone - emotionally or physically as I've been there myself.
And were we to date, I would give it a few years for anything to happen.
I'll stop there.
Thanks for the help tho :-)
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A
female
reader, without_reason +, writes (1 June 2008):
 It is not illegal for you to date :] only illigal to have sex with a minor (under sixteen) where if you do, you may end up with a similar sentance to that of rape even if she consents.
So.. Her parents are happy with it, there's nothing wrong with your friendship.
Plus you're a good man by recognising that it would be wrong to have sexual contact until at least she's 16..
Good luck ^_^
x x
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (1 June 2008):
 Yes you can date. As you say, sexual contact isn't legally an option, and I think you need to be extremely careful about ANY physical contact at all.
I also think you need to take a lot of care in considering just how she feels about all of this. At 15, emotions and feelings (sexual and otherwise) are all over the place for most people. It doesn't take much for a 15-year-old to mistake an infatuation for something very much more, or to completely misunderstand what she is feeling and/or what you feel for her. I'm not belittling the real and genuine emotions that many teenagers feel, I'm just trying to warn you that it can be a very difficult area. It's not so very long ago you were that age, and you are probably well aware how much you mature in the years between fifteen and twenty. If she has it all completely wrong, then it's going to hurt you as much as it hurts her if and when it all goes wrong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): You seem to be being wise about it.
Her parents know and don't have a problem... They trust you.
I would be inclined to say "wait a few years"... But if you ask her parents and state your good intentions and they approve, I can't really see why not.
But you should be 100% possitive that you be willing and able to wait for another few years before sexual interaction. For both of your safety.
Good Luck.
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