A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question for you all, that I really need help with. There's this girl that I have been talking to for a little while now. I am 19 years old, and she's 16. Her and I have actually already talked about getting together and all, but now it gets confusing. First of all, we're on opposite sides of the US, and secondly she called me about 3 days ago, crying her eyes out, and apologizing, because, apparently she lied to me about her age. Now like I said, her and I have been talking for a while now, and I really like her (even though she's on the other side of the country), and she tells me the same, and I believe it. BUT, now she tells me that she's actually 14!!!!! Now the thing is, she was crying saying how she doesn't want to lose me for lying and all, and I told her that all it does is puts our potential "relationship" off until she gets a little bit older, for if anything happened, I could catch a case (seeing as im 19 and all). but, I am not sure I even meant it when I told her. The truth is, that I wanna be with her regardless of her age, and I wanna let her know that, but I am not sure. I mean, shes 14 and I am not really wanting to keep it friends for 4 years til she's 18, Im ready to make a commitment now but she's 14!!!! what should I do??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): well im 15 and my boyfriend is 19, almost 20. wev known each other for almost 2 years, and we met over the internet. i never go on chat sites, neither does he, we are both very wary of things like that. i know it sounds bad because we are in a proper relationship but we have never met. hes coming up to visit me in 16 dayz so hope it all goez well :) lolz. wev ben official for just over 3 months and have been in love since september. my opinion is that you should not let age get in the way of your relationship with this girl, she obviously cares about you a great deal and it seems to me you feel the same. your being very mature in that your postponing the relationship until people will accept it but i dont think you need to. people dot understand what its like until ther in the situation themselves and as long as you know how much you care about each other that should be all that matters. as for the sex thing, if your both ready i wouldnt worry about it, im going to lose my virginity to him, he hasnt pressured me at all and he keeps telling me not to do anything i dont want to. but i really do want to. i love him and trust him and i feel 100% sure i want to. as long as she feels lyk this and knows the facts your all gd. jus dont gt caught. best of luck xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): If she lied to you about her age, what else has she lied to you about?
You should just move on and meet someone in your age range. What are you even doing chatting or getting to know someone who is 16 but admit to being 14?
Can you say jail cell?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): follow your heart, i'm in the same boat your in, do what you think is right, i am....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): I think the both of you are still very young! I think it is good that there is a distance between you because it will force you to get to know each other extremely well as friends first before lust would take over! Relationships that last are ones built on friendships...and it sounds like you do care enough about her to wait. So for the time being, just enjoy getting to know each other better every day...as long as I have known my husband-who is a good deal older than me as well-I still learn something about him I didn't know just about every day..good luck to you..
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A
female
reader, Farris  +, writes (4 March 2007):
 I think there's no reason why you can't be together now... BUT I would question how much you like her if you're not willing to wait around for her to be at a more "appropriate" age?
There are ways to be together, aside from the age difference and the distance between you, and you should definitely work on this.
I think she really likes you, and that you should go for it and see what happens.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): my opinion is that you can still be together and theres no reason why the both of you cant continue seeing each other as long as you dont have sex. you dont need to have sex in a relationship although if you chose to make sure that you both want to and may i mension that its against the law, but you should think whether you do have sex will your relationship last. i hope it will. if she was crying then you know that she likes you very much and she does not want to loose you and if you feel the same way then nothing can come between you not even here age or how far she lives. good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): You can still be together, just don't have sex. Mind you, there are people out there that frown upon even dating, and they make it their business to get into your's. So be wary of that sort. Otherwise, it's good.
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